Zebra Stripes: How I Was Raised from the Dead

40. Jet, Lords and Chamara

Thursday, February 14th,

Dear Saint Valentine,

I feel like I haven't written an entry in ages, but it's a sign that life's been great, lately, right? I have a boyfriend, a job at Derrick's Diner that's going smoothly and helping me with my anxiety, and my parents are finally a hundred percent behind me for the gap year idea. My manager even said I could definitely work more shifts, starting this Summer. School's okay, my friends are cool, and me and my boyfriend constantly meet in secret to hang out or make out or both.

It wasn't really fun, seeing love being celebrated at school for Valentine's Day today, and not being able to hold hands or kiss or look at each other for too long, but we made it up by kissing in my bedroom after school. It became sort of a regular thing for him to come to my room through the window at any time in any given day, and to leave the exact same way, Superman-style. So even if we didn't get to celebrate Valentine's Day, we still spent an awful (wonderful) amount of time together afterwards.

Valentine's at school was adorable, though. Chamara came in matching pink Cupid outfits, Lorna and Meds made things official and held hands in public for the first time, Jet (Jax and Bret) won matching "Cutest couple 2018-2019" sashes... Maybe I did picture Ray and I wearing these. Holding hands. Wearing matching pink Cupid outfits. But I guess having him just to myself, far from everybody's eyes, is also a blessing in itself. I wouldn't have survived Peggy Holmström's snarky comments towards my friends if they'd been targeted at us.

I sort of got lost in my recollection of the Valentine's Day festivities and asked Rayhan if telling Amara and Lorna about us could be a good idea. He told me he wasn't sure that Amara would be able to handle the news, considering he's the "last hope" of the Soltani family, which I'm sure he's being dramatic about. I didn't tell him that, though. But if his parents accepted Amara's transition, why wouldn't they accept Rayhan's homosexuality? I'm almost positive Amara wouldn't freak out. She'd be so happy for us. The one thing I did tell him was to remember that Amara was also freaked out about telling her parents, since she wrote them a letter and ran away for a few days; but she ended up being scared for nothing, because they accepted her, and she came back home, and she loves her parents, and I can tell they love her from the way she talks about them. So, I suggested he might have been making a bigger deal out of it than he should have, even though I said I did understand him. I can tell that he was hurt, though, because he brushed it off, and he left earlier than usual tonight.

I hope I didn't make him feel bad. I just want him to feel lighter, since I can tell the situation is sort of weighing on him.

I just realised I don't even know who the hell Saint Valentine is supposed to be, or why he's the name and face of love.

Tris.