The Chaser : A Fred Weasley Fan Fic

Forty Nine: Boundaries

I felt unbearably guilty. As I should. I thought if I could find the right time to tell Otto then maybe I would but it was becoming clear to me that there's never a right time to tell your fiancé that you've kissed your ex-boyfriend and you think you might still be in love with him.

I felt a little less guilty a week later when Otto was accepted on to a team that we'd both tried out for. I was gracious and sweet and let him celebrate without feeling bitter that that they hadn't taken me on. I was truthfully quite pleased, because if all of this blew up in my face, as I was sure it would, then at least we wouldn't be playing on the same team.

Otto felt guilty though and bought me flowers for the first time ever. I accepted them kindly and told him I was proud of him, but really I wanted to throw them away because I didn't deserve them. The bouquet of peonies only made me feel terrible every time I passed them in the hallway. They sat in a pretty green vase taunting me every time I passed through.

Ballycastle Bats was the new team. They were top of league and had been for a few years, which made Otto even more smug and insufferable. I was dreading our first trip to the pub once the announcement had been made. The thing I was most happy about was the fact that their training grounds were in Northern Ireland, so he'd be spending most of the week there.

Even Oliver wrote me a congratulatory letter, insisting how 'proud you must be'. I don't know why, because I hadn't made any teams yet. Sometimes when I was feeling particularly irritated I liked to think about how all of this was Oliver's fault. He'd introduced me to Quidditch, he put me on the team where I ended up actually being acknowledged by Fred, I found my love for Quidditch. So much so that I thought I'd move to another country for it and ruin my life and to think all I'd wanted was someone to shag on a Friday night.

But it wasn't Oliver's fault, I just wanted somebody else to blame because I couldn't believe I'd done something so cruel.

I didn't overcompensate in our relationship for the act of betrayal. At much of dolt as Otto was, he'd see right through me the moment I started being extra affectionate or buying him nice things or cooking him lovely dinners. He'd know something was wrong and besides I felt so disconnected from him that I didn't even want to try and do any of that. Instead, I just kept plodding along with it.

I was smart enough to not step foot in the twin's shop or the Leaky Cauldron or Ginny's House. Ginny couldn't have known because she was so careless that she'd probably turn up at my front door squealing about Fred and I's kiss, only for Otto to overhear.

When I was alone, having a moment putting washing away in the bedroom or cleaning the bathroom, I was quietly excited. It was the only place I could enjoy it for what it was. Fred Weasley had wanted to marry me once. He'd kissed me despite knowing that I was meant to be marrying someone else and that he was in a long term relationship too.

It didn't go any further after our kiss. We sat in silence for a while afterwards, seemingly in shock with ourselves and each other. I got up, said that I would write to him when I was ready to talk and went home. You could argue it was underwhelming considering what had just happened but I couldn't find the proper words in the moment without gushing about how much I still loved him and I didn't want to lay all my cards on the table just yet.

Over a week had gone by since our kiss and I still hadn't written. It was Friday now and after a long week of not working and holding in the worst secret you possibly could from your partner, I decided I needed a relaxing bath.

I put in the plug and ran the taps, enchanting them so the bath would fill instantly and dropped in a few pipets of a relaxing elixir. I sank under the water and let it rise to my shoulders as I took in the sweet scent. It was heaven.