if only

angry

Cassie screamed into her pillow. She was so angry she could hardly breathe. She began to hyperventilate. She could hear her father in the other room, yelling at her mother.

"This is all your fault! If you had been more strict, applied discipline, she wouldn't be a lazy, stupid woman like you!"

Of course he would blame it on her mother. The only reason 15 year old Cassie and her father fought is because every other woman her father had lived with had been or was scared of him. Cassie wasn't. She was willing to make the sacrifices to be heard. This latest argument had started small, just like all of them.

"Cassie, come put my plate away" cassie growled, but obeyed. as she was putting her father's plate away he ordered another command.  And another. finally she cracked.

"I'm not your slave you know. you could help around the house too, not just tell me and mum to all the time."

that was all it took. cassie's father stood up. "cassie, I pay for your food, i pay for this house, i pay for your clothes, I pay for everything! don't you dare say that I'm responsible for putting away everything when I pay for every thing!" he was getting dangerously close to yelling. this was usually the sign that meant cassie should back down, but cassie wasn't that type of person.

"well guess what dad? so does every other parent! that's what they do when they decide to become a parent, and it shouldn't be to much to ask for you to put you own plates away!"

cassie's father grabbed her face making her look at him.

"you stupid, lazy girl. you are becoming just like your mother." he said it so menacingly that cassie already knew what was coming. he let go of her face and slapped her so hard she was sure it left a mark. cassie filled with rage. she slapped him right back, and that's when the fight began. screaming and yelling, bruises that would surely be felt tomorrow, on both cassie and her father, but of course he was the stronger one, and managed to drag her to her nearly empty room.

now cassie's father had turned his anger to her mother. tears finally fell from cassie's eyes, as she fell asleep to the muffled cries of the person she loved most in the world.

the next morning

cassie had left the house quickly to avoid her father, who still in bed, but had a small time alone with her mother before she left. her mother looked much older than she was, due the the dark circles under her eyes, which could be from bruises or just from the tiredness of being married to a monster. she had dirty blonde hair that framed her green eyes, and cassie had always thought that she was the most beautiful woman in the world.

"Morning baby" her mother croaked as she walked into the room.

cassie smiled to hide her tears as she saw the fresh injuries that her father had inflicted on her mother last night.

"I'm so sorry mum, it's all my fault, I made him angry and I just should have-"

"no honey. don't you dare be sorry. it was his fault not ours. oh, I'm so sorry. you shouldn't be growing up in this environment." her mother looked close to tears, then she lowered her voice to a whisper. "I promise baby, I'll get us out of here, I've been hiding money away for awhile, and soon we will have enough to start a new life. just a bit longer.. I promise."

cassie was so happy about what her mother had just told her that she almost squealed, but didn't want to risk her father being woken. she threw her arms around her mother, who winced as her bruises were pressed, but hugged her back anyway.

"okay, cassie, go to school before your father wakes up, have a good day."

cassie kissed her mother on the cheeks and quietly left the house. Justin was already outside waiting for her. Justin, a boy exactly 4.7cm taller than cassie, with dark hair and dark eyes was the boy of any girls dreams. any girl except cassie. he had been in love with her since they started high school, and began following her everywhere, and was her only friend. he still loved her but was okay with being in the friend zone. he figured she would come around eventually.

"good morning, cassie, girl of my dreams." he held out a single rose. cassie rolled her eyes but took the rose anyway. like she had every morning for the past year and a half. 

"Justin I told you, don't kill your mother's flower garden for me."

"oh, but I just love seeing that little flash of annoyance when you see that perfect rose of love I give you every morning." Justin smirked.

"ugh, whatever, just hurry up I have something to tell you"

so cassie proceeded to tell Justin what her mother had told her that morning. he was so happy for her, but also a little sad. he knew that if cassie and her mum were going to escape her dad, she would have to move to an entirely different state.

"you promise you will stay in touch?"

"of course, and anyway, i probably won't go for another year. mum can only take so much money at a time so dad doesn't notice."

justin nodded in understanding. he and his mother were escapees of violence to. his mother had taken him away the first time his father had hit him, refusing to let the man who had hurt her hurt the person she loved most in the whole world.

"so, at least there is a future to look forward to."

cassie sighed. "yeah."

authors note: if  this story has brought up memories, or you or anyone you know needs help please contact kids helpline, life line or someone you trust. this story is completely fictional and are not based on true events.