Leave me || Kazuha x reader

my dreams- Chapter 2

"Staring into space again?"

Your eyes never left his side but you had to agree.

Could you really tell him that you were staring at him?

His visuals dug through your mirage of thoughts, his behavior and speech played a heavy role in keeping you distracted, with every expression and every glace he gave- your heart danced a little with the beat provided by his voice. Spacing out doesn't necessarily describe how you feel- because every time you're with him, the world seems to stop, time doesn't exist but the seconds fly by, what a phenomenon that magically happens just for him. 

Like a tunnel vision, you were simply looking at him, only him: his hair being toyed by a pick-up of wind, it ruffled his already unkempt nest. A nest that you would happily build a home for and keep tidy for the sake of him. 

Slowly you watch as his figure lay back deeper into the grass, he averted his vision away from you to the stars. His heart was once again somewhere else, there's little you can do to take back the only thing you so desired from him. You believed that falling in love with him was like falling in love with the moon, no matter how much beauty was able to be seen, no matter how much your heart was drawn to it- you could never fully grasp them in your arms. But relishing in the temporary happiness of the moon was enough for you, never asking for more, you already accepted the limited time you had with him. 

You wanted to see him happy, you needed it. Even if it was without you, even if it was with someone else, even if you could never see him again due to his travels, as long as his happiness is retained... 

Wouldn't a smile on his face make you happy too? yes, it's worth all the sacrifice. 

You could give him all the time and space in the world if he just asked. 

But never do you find yourself prospering in a moment without his name on the tip of your tongue, without his body in your imagination, without his love in your craving, without his words like wind breezing past your ears.

Just to think of his touch, to think of his eyes looking at yours instead of the stars, to think of his praise, or degradation, to think of him alone with you and only you, to think of a time when we could say how we sincerely feel, to think of a day constructed minute after minute just for the two of us, to think of an absence of everyone else who's opinions that stand between us, to think of a place fabricated so we could do what we wanted, to think of a scenario without judgement, without outside pressures. 

What a pristine fantasy.

Yet I long for your closeness, I still choke on the idea of your teasing and manic laughter, I still shake, wanting your breath rolling down my spine, I still suffocate in a cloud of your scent, and I continue to seize up at your glance.

All of the evidence we have displayed favors this romance, but this "evidence" is merely a facade of what's hidden under the iceberg. Do you truly love me back? Is this just another one of your adventures, or am I just another journey?

Your presence fuels the hope that rages inside me. Not a moment passes where you don't enter the bounds of my mind. How do I close this border? 

I wish for my name on the tip of your tongue yet it's someone else, I desire my figure in your imagination yet you describe someone else, I want you to lust for my love but why... is this all but hope? 

Even now. I would gladly be a puppet at your disposal, you easily tug on my heartstrings without effort, and when I try to pull out of your reach- you still give me just enough to keep needing you. Strike me with reality. Please I beg. Stop protecting me from this world we constructed together, I can no longer see through the glass. You control the settings, you dangle me by the strings. 

Yet I still love you.