A/N: So this one is written a bit differently than the last chapter, since this one is describing Roger's current state. You'll see what I mean (:
He wanted to leave, but simply couldn't. There were too many memories made in this house, too many memories he did not want to let go. Each spot in the house, whether it was the sofa, the piano, the kitchen, the bedroom.. It held a memory, a moment in time that he was truly happy. Now, tell me, would you want to let that go?
He stared up at the ceiling, tracing along the lines in the plaster, making little shapes. His eyes were focused on the ceiling, but his mind was a million miles away. He thought of everything he had gone through in his life, the good times and the bad times, trying to retrace all of his steps and try to figure out what went wrong.
He lost the love of his life, his sun and stars, his beautiful angel, and he didn't even know why. It all happened so suddenly, as if appearing out of thin air. The fights, the angry voices, one of them sleeping on the sofa. They never solved any of their problems, but he wondered, what exactly were the problems? What did they fight about?
Roger sighed as he interlocked his fingers behind his head, gazing mindlessly up at the white ceiling. His eyes were red and puffy, as they had been for the past few days, and they only time he had left his bed was to use the bathroom, get a drink, or eat something small. His health was slowly deteriorating, until eventually he hoped he would waste away into nothingness.
It's not that Roger wanted to die, quite the contrary. He wanted to live, but only with Brian. He loved him so much, and he thought these little arguments they had would blow over and eventually they would forget about them. He still didn't really know why Brian left home, he didn't know where he went, and he didn't know what he was doing. Roger went over again in his mind, the day that Brian left. When they had a huge fight and didn't resolve it.
"It's just one dinner, how is that a big deal?" Brian asked with an air of annoyance in his voice.
"This is the fifth time I made reservations and you come home 4 hours late! I was sitting here waiting for you and you don't even show up. You didn't even call to say you couldn't make it." Roger looked like he was going to cry, as this most certainly was the fifth time he was arguing with Brian in the past three weeks. Well, not exactly the fifth.
These fights about Brian being late only fueled the fire for smaller arguments throughout the day. Whether Roger left clothes on the floor, Brian dropped food on the couch, or even if Roger brought the mail in a few minutes late. If one contradicted the other, they argued about it. Then, of course, Roger would always want to make things better, so he would make reservations at a nice restaurant and ask Brian to be home by 7 so they could leave. Brian always managed to forget, coming home 4 or 5 hours late.
The first time it happened, Roger didn't think much of it. Sure, he was upset, but he decided to be the better man and let it go. By the time Brian was late the third time, Roger was beginning to suspect that his boyfriend was doing it on purpose, just to annoy him.
One will never know, though, if Brian was ignoring Roger, or if he had simply forgotten, as only Brian could tell you which is the truth.
"I simply forgot, that's all! I was out with some friends and I lost track of time. It can happen to anyone; I'm not perfect, Rog!" Brian's voice was raised slightly, and his eyes narrowed at Roger accusingly.
"Out with some friends? It seems that's all you do every day is go out with your friends! You never want to spend time with me anymore." Roger was getting a little fed up with tonight's argument, but he couldn't keep the thought from spewing from his mouth.
