𝑪𝒐𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒅 - 𝑬𝒅𝒅𝒊𝒆 𝑴𝒖𝒏𝒔𝒐𝒏

✧45✧

"Okay, I'll show you how I do it, and then you can try, 'kay?" I say to El and she nods, "First off, relax your mind as much as you can, you have to think you can do it, then just... think really hard about that memory and feel it travel through you and then pass it on to me"

I follow my own explanations and place one hand on each of El's cheek. I breath in and exhale deeply, thinking of one specific memory;

"Children, this, is your new sister Four" Dr. Brenner says. I'm scared, I don't know any of these people, I want to go back home. I want to go back to learning to play basketball with Steve, "Say hello"

"Hello Four" all the other kids chant in unison. 

Dr. Brenner turns to me and talks more quietly, "You can go play with the others" he then turns back to the rest of the group, "I will come back later, behave" he says and walks out of the Rainbow Room, as he called it.

The other children go back to their occupations; some draw on paper with small crayons, some are playing chess but the piece are moving by themselves. Do they have abilities like me? 

I stand for a while in the middle of the room, not knowing if I should walk up to someone, introduce myself. Mom always told me to make friends with other kids, but I've always been bad at it. I don't know what to talk about with them, they're not like me.

I finally decide to go towards a table where a single girl is sitting. Her hair is buzzed, just like mine, just like everyone else. I remember when they cut it, I cried the whole time. I adored my long blonde hair.

"Hi" I say to the girl quietly. Her eyes turn in my direction but she doesn't answer. I clear my throat and try again, "I'm Avery, what's your name?" 

"Name?" she frowns.

"Yes, a name. What did your parents called you?" I speak as low as I can, I don't like the guards that are watching us.

"Papa?"

"Yes, your papa, what did he call you?"

"Eleven"

"That's your name? Eleven?" I ask, I've never heard of someone named after a number. She lifts her arms from the table and pushes her wrist in my direction. That's when I notice the number inked in her skin. Just like mine. 

I look down at my own arm, he engraved one into my wrist as well, 004.

"Four" the girl says and points a finger to my chest, "Four" 

"No, Avery" I point to myself, "My name is Avery"

The girl, Eleven, shakes her head quickly and puts her index finger to my lips so that I stop talking. My eyes somehow find the blue ones of a guard that's been keeping an eye on us. 

"Four" she repeats and I get what she means; my name is not Avery anymore, it's Four.

I open back my eyes and drop my hands from El's face. It's the first memory I have of her, the first time we met. 

"It worked" she says and turns to Steve who has been watching us the whole time, "I could see everything" she chuckles and turns back to me and I smile. 

"If I can do it, I'm sure you can as well" I say confidently.

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I practiced with El for a good hour, she made progress, but she can't show me a whole memory yet, just parts of it. I decided we needed a break, so right now I'm going back up to my room. I open the door slowly in case Eddie is sleeping. He's still not doing fine, so he's been isolating himself in my room for some time now.

When the door is completely open, I see him sitting on my bed, facing the window and his back is facing me.

"It's me" I say as he snaps his head towards the door, a scared expression on his face.

He sighs and goes back to look out the window, "How is it going? I mean with the memory thing"

"It's good so far, El's doing progress, I think we might be able to do the plan by the end of the week" I answer and sit by his side, "How are you doing?"

"Good" he affirms.

"Eddie, you can tell me"

He glances at my face for a few seconds before shutting his eyes and exhaling deeply, "I'm just so tired of everything Avery... I can't sleep for shit because of those shitty nightmares from last year, and now even worse stuff has happened and it's all just adding up. And let's not forget the part where you fucking died in my arms, where Vecna turned me against you-"

"But that's over now, you didn't do any wrong Eddie" I can't even begin to say to him how sorry I am for all of this. Sometimes I wonder, if I didn't tutor him, I wouldn't have dragged him to the mall to help us with the Russian situation. He wouldn't be a part of this right now, and he would be living his life like a normal person, free of trauma, "You didn't hurt anyone"

"I hurt you" he turns to me again and I swear I can see tears at the bottom of his eyes, "I put you at risk. When we were supposed to be bait for those bats, I left you alone when I shouldn't have, and what was the result? You died Avery, you fucking died"

"I'm fine now-"

"That's not the point, do you even know what it felt like? To have your lifeless body in my arms, not being able to do anything to bring you back? And then I had to leave you there? I think about it every single day" he speaks but I can't even form a sentence before he continues, "And then you magically come back, and I've never been so grateful in my life, believe me. But then, this Vecna psycho, what? He turns me into some kind of emotionless monster built to kill my friends? Who knows what could've happened when you came back for me. You could've gotten killed trying to save me, and I wouldn't even know, because I'd still be under his spell"

"That wasn't your fault!" I snap even though I don't want to, "No one could've guessed he was going to go after you! He could have gone for anyone, and there was nothing anyone could've done Eddie. So don't you dare blame yourself for it"

"I know that Aves, but what if he does it again huh? What if this time, he makes me kill you, or Steve or Robin or Dustin. What, you're going to bring me back again? I won't be able to live with myself if that happens"

"None of that is going to happen, okay? We're gonna kill him. He won't go after you anymore" I reassure him.

"How can you  be so sure? I can still... I can still feel him, he doesn't just leave Avery. This is just like Max, he never really left her alone, and now she's..."

"Stop. This isn't the same thing" I say harshly.

"I can't stop. That's the thing, my mind doesn't stop, it hasn't since we've came back"

"I'll fix everything, I promise"

"How?" he frowns and shakes his head.

"I think... that if we can kill Vecna, it'll change the present. The gates won't exist, my 'death' won't exist, none of what happened when we couldn't stop him, will exist anymore. It'll be like we won on the first try"

"How is that even possible?"

"I don't know, but I'm guessing we won't remember anything of what happened when we failed to kill him. You won't remember me dying, because it just won't happen. We won't remember the gates, people won't be leaving town... and I won't remember about Vecna taking you, because he'll be dead. Does it make sense? It's hard to explain"

"It kind of does, I guess" he nods.

"If it all goes right, Vecna dies and we go back on with our lives, as best as we can"

"And if you can't kill Vecna?" he says in an angry tone.

"That won't happen"

❀⊱┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⊰❀
more sadness...
also, I hope what Avery explained in the last bit made sense, like if they kill Vecna in the memory, none of what happened after he 'killed' Max happened because the girls will try to stop him before he can, you know what I mean?