she's my religion - heather baron gracie

chapter one

there are two kinds of smart in this world for chloe hart: book-smart and church-smart. she was a prodigy in both, blessed with initial knowledge and incredible aptitude.

"and what does this passage symbolize for us?" her small group leader's honey-sweet voice asked. chloe's hand immediately shot up, which earned her quite a few eye rolls from the girls assorted around her. miss anne's eyes crinkled at the edges with fondness.

"why don't we let one of the others have a chance, chloe?" she suggested, giving pointed looks to the 'others,' who gave sour glares to chloe in silent reply.

chloe shifted in her seat, glad to be rid of the obligation of always having to have the first and final word. being an upstanding child of an upstanding family of an upstanding church came with a plethora of responsibilities just in nature: anticipating questions and potential answers during the hour-long sermon, singing loud enough during worship so that others could mumble if they didn't know the words, and being a prime example of what a good christian girl was supposed to be in the sinful world.

thankfully, by the time chloe reached middle school, she had made quite the reputation for herself. where there was a symbol, she picked up on it. where there was a chiasm or remez, she had already spotted it from a mile away and would be just delighted to share her thoughts on the matter. with the adults, this landed her in the category of an 'angel,' someone who was in their prayers lest she be swayed off of the straight and narrow path that god had laid out for her. other teens needed her shining light to lead them towards fellowship with capital-h him, didn't she know? with the other teens, she had been labeled as a know-it-all and a suck-up, looking to lick the patent leather shoes of every youth leader and assistant who gazed upon her angelic face. these two views intersected in what chloe liked to think of as the happiest medium she could get, where her answers were a last resort while the leaders got more and more vexed by the lack of cooperation from the rest of the group.

chloe usually waited out the lull in conversation in contemplative silence. the topic of her inner monologue today was how to persuade her parents to let her actually apply the boxed dye that had been collecting dust under her sink while she chickened out of every opportunity to ask.

the hart family prided themselves on being a paragon of a faithful family. every cookout, game night, lock-in, conference, study, and camp was attended without even a thought to the contrary. this reflected in everything from their home (tastefully decorated, with black and white still-shots of fields in the middle of nowhere) to their kids (tastefully dressed, with shining eyes and hands perpetually folded in prayer). when chloe got her first experience of non-religious culture, a single play through of 'us and them' by pink floyd, from her uncle daryll, her father had barred her from music completely, muting the radio whenever they got in the car. but as chloe got older, her parents had relented bit by bit, even allowing her to have a singular aerosmith poster in her room.

it was a dangerous game to play, having interests outside of the bible and serving food to homeless people while spitting rhetoric that didn't help one lick. chloe played the long-term version, making sure to pipe up every second in youth group so that the youth leaders would report on her exceptional behavior (they talked. they always talked), so her mother would beam at lunch and chloe could butter her up until she could buy another vinyl, another small piece of her actual personality allowed to enter her sanctum of innocence and purity.

this would be her biggest jump yet, to alter her appearance in any way that wasn't the cross earrings that were always dangling no matter the outfit. she could already picture her family's reactions: the corner of her father's mouth tucking in, her mother's brow furrowing and her plastered smile turning a tad brittle, her little brother watching with wide eyes, ready to take mental notes on whether this worked in her favor or not, and her little sister gazing lazily at the whole affair, as though this was just a small inconvenience in her meal.

"well, perhaps we should ask chloe what she thought. chloe?" ms. anne's voice pierced through her thoughts, and she tamped down her agitation so she could spit out a spiel about jesus's enduring love and patience, how he will lead them home and they can live eternally with him, forever and ever amen.

ms. anne clasped her hands together, eyes shining wetly, and chloe felt a tad guilty since she had just pulled the speech out of her ass.

"isn't that just wonderful?" she asked them, earning some silent nods in return. she sighed, disappointment warring with the good grace to not show it.

"perhaps we should wrap up with some prayer time. does anyone have sins on their heart that they would like to share with the group?"

silence. chloe would feel bad if the staff actually tried to notice how miserably they were failing and attempted to fix it.

after a pithy general prayer for good health and open hearts by a timid freshman, ms. anne allowed them to leave. chloe dashed to her car and immediately connected her phone, closing her eyes as the opening notes of 'roadhouse blues' washed over her. she cycled through her favorite albums every week, and her final polishings of her dyed hair pitch would be accompanied by morrison hotel.

as she drummed her fingers on the steering wheel, she once again let her favorite daydream overtake her: bright lights, a guitar in her hands, calloused fingers gripping a microphone as she poured out her heart and soul to a crowd that understood her, having inspiration strike in a studio apartment, taking her future into her own hands, smokey rooms and a city skyline far, far away from a country church.

"shit!" she said, snapping out of her reverie as she came upon a red light. she grimaced, forcing her thoughts back to persuading her parents.

and then, in the corner of her eye, she saw it: a billboard, black background with striking red font.

love music? come share that love at the blue ridge stadium! find more at www.blueridgesummer.com for a job opportunity that totally rocks!

chloe swallowed, her fingers gripping the wheel until her knuckles turned white. a chance to work at blue ridge during the summer, where act on act passed through on cross-country tours? it was almost too good to be true. chloe would have deemed it as divine intervention if the thought didn't make her stomach clench with nausea.

forget dyed hair. that would have to wait. chloe now had much bigger fish to fry when it came to winning her parents over.

chloe spent the rest of her ride home formulating a speech that would leave no room for failure. she would get that job one way or another.