Feel Like Shit.

3. Apology.

"I thought you were in London?" I ask making him nod and push his hair out of his face. "Yeah, I was but we got let home early for the weekend. I thought you guys would be at restaurant by now." He says as he plays with his necklace anxiously.

"We lost track of time." I smile as Star runs straight to Jack, he bends down and starts stroking her and laughing as she runs around him, jumping up and licking him. "She's missed you. As soon as we came in, she went straight to your spot on the sofa." I say making him smile up at me. "I missed my little girl." He says making me smile as he stands up and she starts kissing all over his face.

"How's training going?" I ask making him smile and nod at me. "Yeah, we're good. I actually think we could make it to the finals this year." He says making me smile. "I know you can, we didn't have you on the team last time." I say making him smile.

"Did you watch the work cup a few years ago?" He asks making me smile. "I did, they brought you out for one of the games." I say making him smile and nod. "Yeah, I scored the winning goal." He says making me smile. "You did. I remember watching the game on my phone while I was at an award show, everyone looked at me like I was crazy when I started cheering when you scored." I say making him laugh, like properly laugh.

"Same old, Ivy. Embarrassing herself everywhere she goes." He says making me smile. "I mean, I fell walking up the stairs at the Grammys." I say making him laugh. "God, mum and dad where so worried and I just stared laughing, I knew you'd fall as soon as I saw them." He says making me chuckle.

"So, how long are you here for?" He asks making me shrug. "I don't know, Chase is working on a movie right now so we're not working for a couple months. I said I would make some beats if he wanted to make something in his trailer." I say making him nod.

"So, are you guys like, together?" He asks while not looking anywhere near me. "No, everything thinks we are but we're just best friends." I say making him scoff. "So were we." He says making me squint at him. "I think his girlfriend might have something to say about it." I smirk as he looks at me and tries not to smile.

"What about you? You still with Lacey?" I ask making him shake his head. "That was never anything serious, she just wanted to be a wag." He says making me laugh. "I was the best wag." I say in a dreamy voice making him laugh. "All the boys would agree with you." He says making me smile at him.

"Is that right, Captain?" I asks making him smirk. "So you have been keeping up with what I've been up to?" He says making me shrug. "I could say the same." I say making him smile. "Gotta make sure you're still smiling." He says making me roll my eyes before smiling at him. "You know, I thought I'd hate you if I saw you again." I say making him laugh and nod as he places Star back down and she runs into the garden.

"Me too." He says making us just stare at each other, like we're saying everything we want to, but we don't need to. "Until I heard the song." He says making me roll my eyes and grab my ciggys. "I wrote that when I first moved back to Bournemouth." I say as I go into the garden with him following me, we sit in the chairs and I realise how weird it is without sitting on his lap out here.

"I'm really proud of you, doll." He says making my heart flutter for the first time in years. "Me? Jack, you came back." I poke his chest making him smile. "Well, I had a little motivation." He says making me look at him confused.

"I was so angry at you for leaving, I wanted to bounce back quicker as a fuck you." He says making us laugh. "Well, I'm glad I could help." I say making him stare at me. "Look, I don't know how to really bring this up, but um, it's his birthday in a couple of days." He says making me swallow the lump in my throat.

"It is." I nod before taking a long drag of my cig. "Do you, maybe wanna do something for him, just us?" He asks making me smile. "I'd love to, for the last six years I've always just wanted to be alone, but I wanna do his seventh birthday with you." I say making him smile and grab my hand.

"Do you ever wonder what he would be like? What we would all be like?" He asks making me chuckle. "I'd have to keep you both on a leash." I say making him laugh. "I reckon he would be the most energetic kid at school, most popular, a new girlfriend every hour." I say making Jack throw his head back as he laughs.

"Everyday after school, he'd pester you to play football in the garden or come to practice or ask how it was. He'd make sure we were at every game, cheering you on. He would try flirting with all the women and girls around us, he'd be in love with Kacie, Morgan, Luce and Maggie. He'd go around calling them his girlfriends." I say making us both laugh hysterically.

"He'd be such a mummy's boy though, probably kick me if I roll my eyes when you tell me to take my plate out." He says making me laugh. "He'd play football with Star when I've passed out on the pitch." He says making me smile. "He wouldn't be that tall, your not much taller then me." I say making him flick my head, I stick my tongue out and he smiles at me.

"You still live there?" I ask making him nod. "You still smoke." He says making me bow. "I couldn't change his room." He says quietly as he draws on his jeans with his finger. "All the scan pictures, gender reveal, all the pictures of us, that little onsie you got made that had 'Baby Payne 2021' and our outfits from the gender reveal." He says making me smile sadly and hold his hand.

"I am so sorry I ran away. I should have stayed and tried to tell you the truth. I should have told you truth before you found out. I should have told you I was going out and taking god knows what." I say making him lean forward and grab my cheek.

"You weren't the only one in the wrong. I should have been there for you like you were for me. I was blind to your pain, you always acted like you were okay so I thought you were but I know now you were doing it for me, I should have seen that. I wish you would have told me you were going drugs, but I know I wasn't really there or made you feel like you could talk to me. I'm sorry." He says making me smile and lean into his hand.

"We really fucked it up, didn't we?" I ask making him laugh. "We really did." He says making us both laugh. "I missed my best friend at my matches." He says making me smile. "I missed being there. You know, I came home and watched you play against saints every time you played in Southampton." I say making him smile.

"And I would have loved to have had you at the fucking Grammy's with me." I say making him laugh and grab my hand with both of his. "I was with you doll, I always have been."