𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 - 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆

18 | Bad Luck

He didn't call or text for the past three days. He did what I told him, he was staying away.

I hadn't run into him during those days and I think Changbin sensed something wrong because he hasn't brought him up either.

I know this was my idea and it was for the best, as of now at least. I need to remain focused because I don't have time to bullshit around.

The past few days felt almost like how they used to be, how they were before Minho showed up at the club.  They were slow and I didn't have much to do, Changbin and I hung around the club during the day and we even talked about giving it a new look.

I've been going home at a decent time at night and that led me to see my odd neighbor more often. She didn't try keeping the conversation as I didn't care to spare her a single glance. Just a simple "Goodnight" before she would disappear into her apartment.

Today Changbin and I were out collecting money from a few other businesses, it took longer and continued as the sun went down—I knew tonight wasn't a night I'll be going home early.

I walk out of this shop with Changbin and we walk to his car and get in. Finally finishing with the last stop.

I lean into the seat with my right elbow propped up on the car window as I rub my eyes. "God, I'm exhausted"

Changbin starts the car and chuckles "You've been acting like a fucking grandpa these past few days". I glare at him and he shakes his head. "No, it's good to see you finally taking care of yourself"

"Taking care of myself?" I wasn't sure that's what I was doing but okay.

"Yeah I just mean you haven't been drinking and from what I see I don't think you've been doing anything involving drugs. You even go home after we finish work and you sleep—that's taking care of yourself Jisung"

I look out the window as I chew on the inside of my cheek. Before I never noticed how my life was so fast pace because my mind kept saying "Go, go, go!" and I listened. I'd drink to make it more entertaining and I'd do drugs to keep me going but now I didn't do any of that so I've felt bored and I'd just sleep.

Is this what normal felt like? Or somewhat like this? Was normal actually this boring?

"Do you ever think of how life would be if we were doing this?" I blurt out randomly, still looking out the window as we pass building after building.

I heard Changbin let out a small chuckle "We can't stop or change what we do Jisung, no use imagining if we could"

"But would you?" I look at him now as he focused on the road.

He stood quiet for a few seconds and that was all the answer I needed. I look away from him again and let my hand fall outside the window to feel the warm air.

"Do you?" I heard him ask, making me chuckle.

"You didn't answer mine, why would I answer yours?"

"You know I would," Changbin says. I knew he was now waiting for my answer.

I wasn't sure. When we first started getting into the illegal stuff it was fun, I felt a rush every time. For the first two years, I loved it. The money, the connections... and maybe even the violence. Last year something changed in me, the rush was gone and I no longer enjoyed it. The days felt dragged and it felt more like I was forcing myself to love something I didn't.

Before I could speak up my phone starts ringing loudly, I grab it from my pocket and see Minho's name.

I sigh loudly, hesitating before I press up answer. "Hello?"