𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞

𝐒𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐧𝐞, 𝐄𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐝𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞: "Betrayer"

Ariana ⁂

India Arie - "The Truth" played
"Let me tell you why I love ..."

Ari pulled out her journal, ready to write her feelings to Dave which is something she do every Sunday since she never trusted talking about her emotions to anyone else just to have them thrown back in her face

She started ...

09/09/16

Dear David,

This week has been hell! Between school, work, and my mental health, I'm so unstable. Sometimes it makes me want to lean back over but I know how hard I've tried to keep myself from choosing self-harm. Today marks 6 months since I've done anything! I can't tell you how I've survived for so long. I'm just tired.
I've been dealing with these thoughts so heavily ever since he did that to me. It only got worst when you left, it just started to spiral out of control. If you want me to be honest, I give up but all I hear is how my thoughts are selfish and the people that love me are going to hurt the most.
Crazy how it's so many people that love me yet only one people ask me how I'm doing daily and she is not even my blood. I'm not happy in this world. I can't fake it any longer. I've lost most of the people, I love the most. I try to see it from other people's point of view when they fuck me over but it always falls right back on me. I'm just so tired baby. I really am.
But I'm not going to give up! Like you said 'it might be hard but it's not impossible', I'm going to show myself that it's not impossible!

Closing the journal, putting it back in the desktop storage drawer before locking it. Jumping in the shower to get ready to go to church with Mama B

"...I wonder, does he know?"

Salto de Tiempo

Pulling up to the church, I smelled myself to make sure I didn't smell like weed before rolling the windows up

Seeing a text from Mama B saying she was sitting in the front row, Ari grabbed her purse from the passenger seat and started to walk into the church

Collecting stares from the old ladies that stood at the door greeting people instantly grew her annoyance

Finding her way to the front of the church, seeing Mama B waving at her, Ari smiled

50 minutes later

It was finally time for Mama B to get baptized. This was probably Ari's favorite part of the church

She loved seeing them go down in the water and come back up in peace

Ari recorded the pastor asking Mama B to repeat everything he said before she felt a familiar feeling coming from behind her

Choosing to ignore it, she continues to record

"I believe that Jesus is the Christ," The pastor said before pausing to let Mama B repeat

"The son of the living God," The pastor continued before pausing once again to let Mama B repeat

"And I accept Him as my Lord and Savior."

"Kimberly, I now baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, for the forgiveness of your sins, and the gift of the Holy Spirit." The pastor said