Black Holds All Colors

mob bitch

After so many years running, bleeding and always fighting to survive its weird to just sit in this white expensive looking couch while I eat popcorn and watch some shitty movie with my uncle, maybe after some time I'm going to get used to it but now it just seems weird, i'm scared that this is all a nightmare ou I'm in coma somewhere , its the most plausible scenario for someone like me. Even after years living like this I don't thinks my habits will die, I already know all of the exits in this mansion, a door in the back with a easy lock to open, 2 french doors with blind glass in the living room but I know I can easily open them too, a door in the east of the house that goes to the huge garage that has four expensive cars that I don't even know the name of, with a heavy gate made of armored steel. The most safe thing about this house is that I have a key to all of the rooms that I used to carry around in my pocket for the first four months here and my room has a balcony from where I can jump off but I'm probably going to break a leg in the fall. But even with all of this I think I feel weirdly safe here with uncle Stuart, he never demands anything from me and its kind of funny how he can command one of the most powerful mob in Europe but always freaks out when I have panick attacks or when I just scratch my knee, I never had someone who cared so much and never took anything...I think I liked it even if its overwhelming sometimes.

 "Do you think you're ready to go to school? I know you hate people and all of that antisocial teenager thing but I really whant you to meet people and make friends, sitting here all day suking its not healthy Nate, fuck I think I never heard you laugh and honestly sometimes I wake up to drink water and you're here at 4 am just staring at the ceiling, it freaks me out so please just socialize okay? Go out with people, laugh, be impulsive, just try to be happy. I know you're never going to be a normal kid and honestly I don't want that either, I feel more at ease if you know how to punch someone and knock them in less then three minutes so use it when something happens or just call me and I will get you. I-". I think I was staring too blankly to the TV because uncle Stuart never talked so much in these 5 months that I'm here just that one time after I was released from the hospital and he told me that he gave me a one hour speech about protecting me, going to live with him and all that sentimental bullshit and to be honest I thought he was really sentimental for a mob boss but after this he never talked to much beside making sure I was okay or invinting me to spend silence time with him but here we are again with the sentimental speech, I think I don't mind so much.

"I- bloody hell Nate I just want you to be happy, you don't need to go to school if you don't like it but I want you to give it a try for at least 6 months, you deserve friends, girlfriends, boyfriends just like everyone so yeah thats everything I had to say I guess- oh and also go see a therapist you're always blanlkly staring at space and this isn't normal you definetly have a PTSD kid it would be weird if you hadn't." I just stare at him wide eyed and he's so worked up and nervous with all the, I quote, sentimental bullshit, that he just said that I can't even think about denying it.

"oh-ham- okay" he turn his green eyes ate me and gapes, I think he was expecting a fight but I'm tired of being strong, I just want to have time to be weak after years of putting a strong facade.

"well kiddo, I was not expecting a yes"

"your sentimental bullshit made the trick"

" fuck off, I'm going to bed, this conversation made me tired" He gets up from the couch wearing his navy blue expensive pajama under the pink blanket that he swears he just bought because the atendent was hot(lie obviously) and stretching his long leg, and arms above his head, its really fucking unfair that he's so tall and is related to me.

"Night uncle Stuart"

 " Tomorrow I'm going to the school to enroll you and also buy some clothes because I can't be see with you wearing this trash that you call clothes, don't sleep late, you look like a zombie"

"My clothes are fine, its just school, I'm not going to see the fucking president there but fine do whatever, go to sleep you have dark cicles already"

"WHAT"he screams in horror and touches his face while Ijust  smile, a genuine smileeve if it doen't ocupy my whole face  its more than I did in my sixteen years of life, he'so vain and loud, I still can't believe that there're people afraid of him.

"byeeee" he looks at me with a scowl and turn around graciously just like everthing he does, and climb the fancy marble stairs, without a noise because of his duck slippers that I bought as I joke but he wears them everyday. I turn around to the movie witch is now showing a girl with red eyes, lay my head in the armrest off the couch and cover myself eith the fluffy blanket.

Maybe school isn't going to be so bad, I miss running and learning new things I was always good at math while on the run. Maybe Andrew will be there- wait what, the guy is a dick.

But there's something mysterious about him, when he looked at me I just felt at eas,  not judged or afraid of, I don't know, he seems to be the type of person who doesn't do friends and beats others if you got too close, so am I actually but fuck it he won't get close neither am I, I'm not that desperate.