clocks

9

Dream

I wake early to the sun in my eyes, and a warm heat against my bare chest. I'd forgotten to close the curtains last night after he stumbled to my room, and as a result, the rising sun is shining brightly through.

My hand is dragged to my face in an attempt to push out the light. I always wake early, yeah, but this feels a little too early. I'd been up late last night, waiting patiently for him to fall asleep before I did.

I know he didn't show up to my room for no reason, he was jittery, he was nervous, he was a mess. Something was wrong, but he seemed to calm down after he relaxed down into my bed, so I could hardly throw him out, could I?

The arm on my right has begun to cramp, so I go to turn over in the bed onto the opposite side, but instead I'm met by a weight I hadn't expected. The weight which is Georges head.

My eyes open tiredly, and my head slowly turns to survey his body which is turned in towards mine. My arm is outstretched around him, keeping him tied close to me. He's still fast asleep, his head propped up against my bicep as he snores away quietly.

His hair is a mess. It flies around wildly on his head, and he has lines on his face from his sleep. One of his arms is draped across my chest, which dips into the sunlight that's still shining on my face. He's never looked so sweet, so adorable, his features somehow still looking perked even in sleep.

I'm too tired to get up, I'm too tired to get out of bed to close the curtains. Instead, I keep my hand held against my eyes to block out the sun and I fall back asleep, his body and face still so close to mine that I can feel the warmth of his breath against my neck.

***

Once I wake again, the sun is no longer killing my eyes, and the birds aren't as noisy, which tells me it's a little later in the morning. I turn, wondering if George is still beside me but secretly, I already know the answer. He never wakes early if he can avoid it.

He's still where he was however many hours ago, but his head is now more or less relaxing against my shoulder rather than on my arm. His head is so close to mine that it almost knocks the wind out of me.

It's so simple to imagine how easy life could've been. It could've been just like this, every day, every night. He could go to bed here every night and wake up here every morning, he could walk Gracie himself down by the lake, he could do whatever he pleases whilst he here, there are no rules or boundaries for him to be kept within.

We were so close to such an easy life. But any life would be easy as long as we were together, at least in my opinion. Though I have no idea how he would feel about it. I know I'd give almost anything to be able to keep him here.

But who knows. Maybe he's happy in the life he's built over the years, with Quinn— and whoever else he may have now. I know I'm happy. I'm very lucky and I'm extraordinarily happy with Nelly and Gracie and my life as a teacher. I just know I'd be that whole lot happier with him in my life, too.

I'm not tired anymore, so after a lot of gentle and slow and calculated movements, I manage to pull my arm out from underneath him which now leaves me free to sit up from bed. He outstretches his hand that I've just slipped out from under, but instead he just scrunches up my pillow in his fist. I watch him, smiling idiotically.

I change into shorts and an older t-shirt, because it's sunny, which means I'll go for a run with Gracie. I consider leaving George a note, but I know he won't wake up any time soon, so instead I leave it and slip downstairs.

Gracie greets me with her wagging tail, clearly ready for breakfast. I feed her first, getting a thankful lick on the hand before she jumps into her food. Then, I down some water and eat an apple whilst I wait for her to finish her food so we can go.