Taming the Author

24: Think for yourself

The last time I ate an ice cream cone was four months ago, when I decided I needed something other than Lorewind's books to cheer me up.

I was having a mid-life crisis, something I didn't think I would have because I stopped planning my life when I was kicked out of my parents' house. The last thing I dreamed of doing was editing books - fiction books. But four years of working in the Non-fiction department made me realize it wasn't going to happen anytime soon. So I grabbed a tub of rocky road ice cream and pigged out in my apartment like a heart-broken teenage girl. I celebrated the fact that I was just too much of a screw up to be where I wanted to be. I celebrated the truth that there was nothing else for me in the world.

I accepted my boring fate and celebrated it.

"Ice cream is nostalgic to you?" Loramina asked, sitting beside me on the railing of an empty cattle pen.

It should have been disgusting to eat green ice cream , speckled with black dots, in a green field with dark-hued cow and horse droppings here and there; but I didn't mind it. I wasn't sure if it was the relaxing breeze or the rural ambiance, or the sounds of laughter and bickering behind us that made it feel okay.

I did feel lucky to be alone with Loramina on the railings of an empty pen though...

"I'm just remembering the last time I ate ice cream," I said, before licking the refreshing desert that reminded my taste buds of toothpaste.

She raised a curious brow at me. "Your date with Heather?"

I chuckled. "No. You're really not going to let that go, are you?"

She shrugged her shoulders and licked her own ice cream cone. "You like her, and I practically ruined your chance to date her for good."

I took a deep breath.

Did I regret not walking Heather home? Sure. Did I want to date her for good? It would be cool to date someone as hot as her. Was I looking for someone to date? Or someone...something more?

"Just let me deal with Heather," I said.

The conversation I had with Loramina in the past days made me wonder about my feelings for Heather, and I knew I had to sort things out before I asked her for another date.

"Okay," Loramina said, sounding somewhat guilty. I glanced at her and saw her eyes fixed sullenly at the giant green blob on her cone. It was immensely larger than mine, which made me curious if she munched on toothpaste for fun.

I immediately felt guilty. But before I could apologize for making her sad on the Heather-date issue, she spoke. "So when was the last time you ate ice cream?"

"Months ago," I answered, knowing that she wanted to change the topic of the conversation. "I thought I wasn't going to be part of the Fiction Department; that I would grow old reading manuals."

Loramina smirked. "Now you're here eating a blob of grass and dung," she teased.

I chuckled. "It doesn't taste like that," I said.

"Oh you've tasted grass and dung?" she asked, smiling slyly at me.

I smiled. "Don't you remember? I was with you when I tasted some. I was sure we shared a plate that day."

She laughed. "And it tastes like toothpaste," she replied.

I laughed back. "Why did you want Mint Chocolate Chip then?"

She shrugged. "I like it."

I studied her for a moment as she bit into her ice cream. She seemed eager to devour the desert but her eyes flashed a hint of sadness.