02| "Shes Amaras sugar Mamma"

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Enjoy the journey.
Just because your not there yet doesn't mean you will be
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I'm sitting in my office at home, watching the sun settle, painting a warm tone on the horizon

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I'm sitting in my office at home, watching the sun settle, painting a warm tone on the horizon.

I'm so tired, but I have so much to do and look forward to.

I'm leaving for Italy tomorrow for the award ceremony I've been invited to attend.

Straight after finishing that, I've got to get back home and start preparing for a red carpet.

Later on this week, I have a shoot with Vogue Magazine.

Owning my own fashion line and being the co-founder of it is a lot.

Although it may have its good times, it can also have its tiring times as well.

But I love the job I've created myself.  Honsetly wouldn't trade it for any other job in this world.

Sometimes, it reminds me of how far I've come in life just by myself. Just being a single mom and having no help.

Aubrey should be coming back with my daughter soon.

I've asked her to do so since I've had a hectic day and couldn't fit in a slot to pick her up.

Aubrey is my assistant who has been the closest one I've had. She's so close to be she's like a friend. At this point, I usually consider her my family.

She's got special privileges that no other assistant has gotten.

And I knew she was different compared to my past assistant.

My daughter has had it tough in her life. I know because I see it all the time and from how she acts.

It hurts me seeing her grow up every day, still feeling the same way about this one very specific topic.

Her not having a father.

God, that kid has wanted one ever since she's found out she didn't have one.

And it pained me seeing I couldn't get her that. It pained me because I couldn't get why her own father left.

I didn't understand. Even till now.

She saw these kids play around with their fathers, and she asked me who they were and if she had one.

I lied. I regretted it from the moment I said it, but I had to. I mean, what was a little four year old gonna do or say if I told her her father left me alone pregnant with her.

So I told her he died moths beofre she was born. She didn't quite understand yet, but she asked me again when she was five, and I told her the same thing.

She understood. Very well. She cried that day. She cried so painfully and so long that at that point, I felt I made a mistake by telling her that.

The kid wanted a father, and she couldn't have one. I couldn't give her one.

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