Daydreams/fantasies (One shots kinda ig idk)

Soft music

                                                                                     Um TW 

It had been a long day. I was hurting so fucking much. My family was out of town for the next 2 weeks. And so I invited him over. I texted him and he said yes. You confirmed to make sure it was still happening and to be honest I wasn't sure if it was a good idea. but I said yes anyways.

I curled up in my bed, sobbing. I couldn't handle this shit anymore. It was too fucking painful. but then the slight buzz of my phone alerted me. You were 5 minutes away. So I told you when you got here to just come right in. I was the only one home so I'd know it was you. 

I went to the living room and sat on the piano bench and started to play the music softly. I wanted to take my mind off of suicide. it was all on my mind. I played the piano highly, not even noticing when you came in. I played and played. The music lulled softly in the room. Flowing around the room filling the air. I moved on from song to song playing every song I knew. Playing them in different keys, making the music softly fill the air. 

When I finally stopped I brought my knees to my chest and started to cry. That's when I heard him.

"That was beautiful."

There he was, Omi was standing right there behind me. 

I wiped my tears and stood up. "Shit wait were you crying."

I looked down at my feet and stuttered "I- Um I- I- no."

He brought me into a hug. Tight, warm, comforting. He made me feel safe. He didn't let go. And so I wrapped my arms around him. He was taller than me. I just started to sob in his chest. This was not how I thought this meet-up/hang-out would go. He didn't let go even when I was crying. He just brought his hand up and down my back. Comforting me.

Eventually, the hug ended, I wasn't sure how much time had passed. My eyes were red and puffy but all he did was tuck a strand of time behind my ear. He smiled, it made me feel as though there was nothing else in the world I needed. His eyes were filled with worry and concern. 

"You want to talk about it?"

I slowly nodded and sniffled. "T- T- this way."

I led him towards my parent's room where I felt the most comfortable. I looked into his eyes filled with worry and he gave me a gentle smile.

"I-" I tried to talk but the words wouldn't come out

He grabbed my hand and rubbed it with his thumb. "Take your time, it's ok."

So that's what I did. I took my time and we just sat in silence. I let my head rest on his shoulder and just felt the comfort. 

Finally, I spoke up, "I've lost myself Omi, I've lost myself. I don't know who I am anymore." I blinked a few times trying not to cry. "Ever since my brother r@ped me I haven't been the same. I can't even find the motivation to get out of bed. I fucking hate myself so so much. I'm never fucking good enough and I hate myself for it. I just want to make people proud but no matter what I do it's never enough. I'm tired of fucking living and every time I try to kill myself I wake up the next morning and I fucking cry because it didn't work and I'm still fucking alive. I just wish everything would be ok and that I could be numb. I cut myself to punish my stupid anorexic ass because I deserve it. I stopped taking care of myself and eating and I can't do it anymore. I can't Omi." I was sobbing now.

All he did was look at me and say "I know, I know." 

He didn't try to fix the fucking problem like everyone else and didn't tell me how it was going to be ok. He knew how it felt, I could tell. He laid back and brought me over and I just laid there sobbing into his chest. 

I don't know how long it had been but I sat up and sniffled. "Hey- um do- I- do you wanna play some switch? I'm sorry I ruined the mood."

He didn't say anything at first but then he spoke "You didn't do anything wrong, I'm glad you got all this out." And then he smiled his smile. "Yea let's play some switch." 

So that's what we did. We played switch and laughed. We had a good time and he didn't care how bad we were. He didn't judge me for anything I talked about today or anything I did. 

"You played the piano beautifully."

His voice sounded soft and happy. I looked at him "It's not that good." 

He smiled "It was the prettiest thing I've ever heard."

                                                   The end yall

Also Authors note, Um all the pain and shit in this is stuff I actually go through and feel. That was honestly like a vent. Also the person in the story, in this story we're just friends.