Someone To Stay || c.yj + k.th

00 - Still

That day was...still, exceptionally so. No chirping of birds. No hustling of cars. No clatters of utensils. Nothing.

And the sun was burning bright, seeping through the window; but it couldn't quite reach the eye. My own sun seemed like sinking below the horizon, darkening slowly...and slowly as I lost my hold on sanity.
But I held tight; and oh is it still so vivid, like it was only the day before.

I even remember how my alarm had started ringing-- a reminder of my medicines. I sat there, however, frozen to my core. I couldn't veer my gaze away from a picture of a day not so dark. Quite the contrary, actually.

There was I; oh wasn't that the shirt I loved? I think I gave it for the laundry, or no. I didn't know. Did I lose it? It must be in the cupboard somewhere.

And there he was, my brother. Damn, look at that smile. He was quite happy that day. That yellow sweater was the best thing in his entire closet. But that sweet bastard, he won't ever give it to me. Several of our days were spent fighting over it. I gave it to him after all, knowing all too well it won't suit him and I can make as much fun as I could. But, to my surprise, he wore it like it belonged nowhere else but on him.

I felt the soft wool under the pads of my fingers. I finally had won over the sweater...but no longer did it matter now. For it was not the sweater that I wanted at last, but the giggles and tantrums of the person I saw growing up in front of my eyes; the best friend who heard all my rants and gave the best advices despite of being younger; the mother figure who reminded me of my meds from time to time, throwing frivolous rebukes.

He was never really a brother to me-- he was my everything.

Everything...

People don't live long, but memories live forever. Maybe his time in this life was short, but the memories still remained-- remained to tell the story of a boy with a bright future, although the future never really came.

He was just eighteen.

Not a single tear came from the eyes, not a single emotion passed the face. But the storm inside me never stopped ever since, destroying me while not a hindrance one could see.

Must be easy for others to let it all out, hurts when you know you are not able of it.

And the sun was burning bright, brighter than the days; all I could see was darkness and I fell further into it.

«I can touch even if you're not in my sight
I reach even if you go far away from me»
— Beomgyu, nap of a star