It's late and I've just realised that I love someone who only sees me as a friend and it breaks my heart to think about it but I can't ignore the fact anymore.
I just wish I could tell her without ruining our friendship because she is my best friend and I can't live without her.
And when I tell her I love her I don't think that she realises that I truly mean it and that I love her more than she could ever imagine.
She has said so many times that she wants someone to want her and love her but she already has someone. Me. Why can't she see that?
I want her to see that.
I would kill for her.
She is the one person that I feel so happy around and comfortable.
And I'm not over exaggerating it because this is truly how I feel.
Every time i day that I love her she responds with "love you too bestie" and that's not what I want the response to be.
I want to be able to look after her.
Keep her safe from all the horrors of the world.
I want to be hers and for her to be mine.
Sometimes I lay in bed by myself and just pretend that she is lead in bed with me in my arms.
I got so close to telling her once and then I stopped myself.
My sister knows cause she could tell from the way that I would talk to her about my best friend.
I've dropped a couple of hints but nothing that was really obvious.
I just want to scream but it's currently like 3am and everyone else is asleep.
I'm sat silently crying.
And I can't tell her that I'm crying cause then she will ask me why and I can't tell her.
She's also currently out clubbing and I don't want to ruin her night.
She told me that she had made out with a girl there and that made me feel all numb.
I just kinda wish that was me.
I know that I won't sleep until I know that she is home safe.
