The Last Date

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The meal with Dean's family is scheduled to be by the end of the month. While that happens, we don't lose contact. Our texts and video chats have become a constant that I look forward to all the time. Especially after a tiring day at work, he can easily make me forget my problems. Our relationship has steadily added flirting into the equation. It doesn't happen all the time, but when it does, it's spicy and sometimes makes me blush. Nevertheless, it still has the friendly undertone, like he might not really mean it. Most of the time I decide not to dwell on it. Not tonight, though.

When I open my apartment door, Dean Winchester stands on the other side of it. His green eyes look up immediately from the bouquet of flowers he's holding. I can almost swear they shine brighter when he sees me, but it's probably just the light. He has stubble and I wonder how it would feel to caress it with my fingers. Maybe when I get back home, I'll actually allow myself to imagine my hand running up his jaw towards the tip of his nose, where those little freckles that I like so much reside. Maybe I'll let my mind wander to those pretty pink lips on mine, or maybe, those pretty pink lips elsewhere...

"You look- you are beautiful," Dean murmurs as he hands the lilies to me. The flowers are a lovely shade of red and yellow. I wasn't expecting anything.

"Thank you, you look hot too." And taking it a step further, I add, "makes me nearly wish to just stay here and let you warm me up."

Truth to be told, the weather it's cold outside, but he knows that's not what I mean. His big smile makes little wrinkles appear in his eyes. "Um, maybe after dinner we can come back." Then he winks funnily. There it is, are we flirting or what?

Before I can add anything else, he gestures for me to exit. Quickly, I put the flowers in a vase and take my jacket. The journey to his parent's house is quiet. AC/DC fills the silence at a low volume. I can tell that Dean is nervous by the way he grips the handle. His knuckles are white and for a second I'm scared he'll break Baby. Shouldn't I be the one who's nervous? Gingerly, I place my hand on his knee. I expect rejection or awkwardness, but instead, I feel him relax. My touch doesn't leave him until we reach our destination.

"Here we are," he says with a dramatic sigh. "I just have to warn you, mom can be a bit... affectionate."

I don't understand what he means until I'm engaged in a hug the second Dean introduces me to her. The 'I told you so' look that he gives me makes me wanna punch him in the face, or kiss him. Whatever works.

"Come in, come in," says Mrs. Winchester. "Dean has told us so much about you." Has he, really? But I don't question the lady and follow her inside.

The house is cozy. Dean gives me the tour and I find out that her mother still has his and his brother's bedrooms just as they left them when they went to college. By the time we go back downstairs, the dinner is ready. Mrs. Winchester cooks amazingly, and her talking is so motherly that it's almost impossible not to feel comfortable around her. As for Mr. Winchester, he doesn't talk much and appears to be very rough, but the pride in his eyes when he hears Dean's promotion is outstanding. I don't get to meet Sam or his wife, since he's busy with work. Nevertheless, Mrs. Winchester makes sure to tell me all she can about her other son. To my delight and Dean's embarrassment, she also shows me some baby pictures of both. Dean's naked baby bottom in full display.

This scene is so typical for when one meets the boyfriend's parents, that I almost feel like Dean and I are actually dating. I bask in the feeling of domesticity while my fake boyfriend wraps an arm around my shoulders in his parent's living room. Everything is so in place that I feel sad when Dean mentions that we have to leave. It's not that I don't wanna part from the Winchester's household, it's more like I don't wanna stop being Dean's girlfriend. Before leaving, Mrs. Winchester gives me another hug and her husband a handshake. The smile they share makes me believe that they approve of me. Dean lets out a sigh of relief when we climb into the Impala.

The silence that surrounds us on the way to my house is pleasant. Neither of us want to break the atmosphere that being together created. I never thought I'd be in the kind of situation where I'd pretend to be in a relationship. Yet, here I am. I remember my dreams about marriage when I was little. I used to fantasize about prince charming all the time. Growing up showed me that life is much more complicated. I was a late bloomer, I never really got to have a stable relationship in my early days, and when I got older I stopped looking for one. For periods of time, hook-ups were all I knew. I've never stopped to wonder if I was girlfriend (let alone wife) material, and then I started dating James. I genuinely thought he could be the one, but then things went south and that made me believe I wasn't made for relationships.

Dean parks home and insists on walking me to the porch. Despite my reluctance, I accept. When we get there, I fumble with my keys awkwardly. "Thank you for doing this, my parents loved you."

"No problem," I answer, "you've done this for me too."

He shifts in his spot and clears his throat. He's nervous, I can tell by the movement of his Adam's apple and the light blush on his nose. "I have something to tell you," he reveals, "this whole dating thing, the fake dating, I want it to end." My heart pounds rapidly inside my chest. Is he tired of me? Or is this a confession? Before I can let my mind wander, he continues, "I know we said this was purely professional, and that I wouldn't... fall. But I um- I'm willing to try this for real, if you're too."

Fuck, is this really happening? Never once did I imagine that my infatuation would be reciprocated. Still, something must be stuck in my throat because no words leave my mouth. I like Dean, I really do. He is sexy as hell and provokes 90% of my wet dreams nowadays. Do I want what we have to be real? Yes. Am I scared it won't work out? Yes. Our friendship is good, it's stable, and it makes me feel warm inside, but it also makes me not want to lose it. What if real dating makes it all go away? Nevertheless, I want to say yes, I want to jump into his arms and kiss him senselessly. But I don't, my body remains stiff, and he misinterprets my silence.

He looks away, embarrassed. "Ah- I understand, I'll just go..."

"Wait," fuck, Ronnie, tell him that you like him too. "Could I... think about it?" What is there to think about?

Apparently, that's greater than not saying anything because Dean is relieved. Not so much if I would've said yes, but better. "Yeah, yeah, take all the time you need, sweetheart."

After that, he climbs into the Impala and drives away. I'm not sure why did I not say yes right away, maybe it's just the way I think things over before making big decisions. Possibly I still believe I'm not girlfriend material, and that he deserves better. Or perhaps, I'm just too skeptical to accept his confession. After all, the relationship, or whatever this is, started fake through an app. To be honest, when I chose him, I thought I wouldn't like him beyond physically. All the things he described in his profile weren't something I would've to look for in a boyfriend. This feeling grew almost like a vine making its way slowly into my heart. I'm not sure how it happened.

Yes, I will take this time to come to terms with myself, then, I will let Dean into my life.

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