Harmoney's hope (Leila's light)

light's and song

The light taps of someone coming downstairs wakes me up. I know it's not my father, he is cruel but not enough to pretend to have the steps of my mother. The aroma of fresh bread and soup fills the room. She left the door open a small crack and i see my chance to escape. But i cant move, my ribs feel like their on fire as i try to go to my mother. I lift my head to meet my mother's eyes as she says "Mi Amor." [My love] The smell of the meal is making my stomach growl.

She sets down the soup and bread and i quickly begin to scarff it down. After a moment i look up at her. Her eyes are filled with tears as i rember her prayer from last night. Counting the days on my fingers i realize this is the second meal i've gotten this week.

My birthday is only a few days away.

"Is it almost-" i stutter on my words. But she knows what i ment. She laies down on the bloody floor and places my head in her lap. I know i smell like piss and my hair is completely matted and filled with new and old blood, but she doesn't seem to mind.

I may have never felt the true love of a father, but my mother tried to fill in as much as she could. How could such a sweet, loving, caring woman like my mother marry my father. Most likely similarly to how i'm going to marry. By who buys me for the most money.

I refuse to cry more I have known my fate for years. I have no other choice. I never have had a choice.

She puts ointment on my cuts and wraps them up. As well as putting some other salve on my scares. Allowing her to look at my bruised ribs, she kisses them trying to make me feel better as it did when I was a child. But it doesn't. I am no longer a child.

I must've fallen asleep on her lap because I wake up to being carried upstairs by Kai and Arlo.

I wake up again in my old bedroom. It looks different than I remember. It seems sadder, darker. With the dark purple rose-colored walls and black accents. There is bars on the windows now, we don't want any 'accidents' to occur.

My cuts have been tended to and I see a note next to my bedside table. It reads "when you wake take a shower."I have not taken a shower in months. Mamma has been able to quickly sneak me out to bathe me when father has gone on business trips.

I have never seen so many products. I choose a rose-scented set as they are my mother's favorite flowers. Watching the dark brown colored water finally run clean fills me with some sort of relief. Scrubbing my scalp, and getting all the build-up and knots out makes me feel better than i have in years. I have never felt so clean. It took a while to get the mats out of my hair but now it is smooth. It doesn't change the fact that my hair is completely overgrown though. In the seven years i have only gotten my hair twice. Both times still a little past my shoulders, that was three years ago. Now myhair is well past my waist and curly.

As I walk back into my room there is a dress laying on my bed. Just by the tiny size of it, I can tell it's from my father. Great another note, "you will wear this." "He asked so nicely" I mumble rolling my eyes. i have never felt more uncomfortable wearing something until now. The dress is as tight as skin, accentuating everything my father said "he owns," with a dropping neckline and making it appear as if I have anything there. Somehow the dress created curves that I don't have due to malnourishment.

A sudden knock on the door causes me to jump. Slowly opening it i notice Kai bringing me jewelry and shoes. He slowly looks me up and down, and quickly slipping inside. He closes the door and comes over to me. He looks at me for the first time in a long time."Oh Harmoney," He just says and gives me a hug.

I wince at the pain in my ribs. "I am so sorry Har, i couldn't stop him. He keeps threatening Rowan's life and I know it's not an excuse," He carries on but i just embrace him again. "It's alright. I can take it. I understand." I reassure him, that maybe if I convince him it will convince me too.

"Do not try to escape Har," He says suddenly. I want to ask him why, this is my chance to be free. Not just from father but from the life and the abuse. He kisses me on the head then quickly rushes out.

Heading into the bathroom i shakily put on the diamond-encrusted collar that was given to me, as well as the high black stilettos. Looking in the mirror for the first time. I'm taken back by my own appearance. I touch the mirror, seeing if i can jump through to trade places with the girl i see. Because this girl in the mirror is not me, she looks healed and loved. She looks beautiful and wanted.

[Flashback almost 8 years ago] "Why father what did I do wrong?" I ask as he pushes me down the stairs of the basement we are to never enter. "What is going on I don't understand?" I am sobbing now. He has never acted this way before. "Why are you-" I try to ask but he cuts me off "Shut your mouth this is the time where you are the good girl you are and take everything given to you." I nodded and he shuts the door. [End of flashback]