[I have no memory of writing this, but I decided to post it because im already in hell so why not]
You were sleeping In your bed on a warm winters Saturday night, you had left your window open in hopes a handsome burglar would break into your home and kidnap you because you are a y/n wannabe and your parents never loved you.
You awake to the sound of breathing, you are full of terror and lust at this beautiful breathing.
You open your eyes and see him....the one and only Mickey mouse clubhouse standing at the foot of your bed.....he is breathing heavily and sexually
He is around 13 feet 6 inches tall his shoes are enormous... around 17 inches long and well.....yk what they say about guys with big feet....
You are filled with lust and fear but also pure shame
You scream as he gets closer but it is to late
He covers your mouth with one huge white gloved hand and wheezes into your ear "shut the fuck up bitch"
You shut the fuck up and look into his huge beady black eyes
"M-m-m-m-m-m-mickey mouse clubhouse?!?!" You whispered
"Yeah it's me babygirl" he whispers seductively
"Actually I'm gender neutral because idiot doesn't know the readers gender identity and doesn't want to get cancelled on Twitter.com" you scream in terror
"Oh okay, sorry baby(insert gender identity)" Mickey mouse clubhouse says with sorrow
"Thank you" you whisper in a voice that indicates you are incredibly horny
"Wow respecting your gender identity makes me even more horny" Mickey Mouse clubhouse says with sexual intentions
He slowly pulls a bottle of mustard out of his ass and opens the bottle.
"But what about Minnie?" You say with tears in your eyes
"I killed that bitch with a hacksaw in her sleep" he says seductively
He pours the mustard all over your hair (if you have any, please don't cancel me on Twitter.com)
"Ahh" you scream, utterly terrified
"Shh" Mickey Mouse clubhouse says
He continues to pour mustard on you
Eventually both of you orgasm and he waits for you to fall asleep before he leaves in the night.
Because I'm not writing that shit you nasty fuckers.
You slowly open your eyes, it's morning, you are no longer covered in mustard and you think it's cute he must have done aftercare on you.
You mother walks into the room, she is covered in mustard.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU??? YOU POURED MUSTARD ON ME IN MY SLEEP?? ARE YOU NOT TAKING YOUR FUCKING MEDICATION?" She screams with rage
You start to cry. Mickey mouse clubhouse must have cheated on you with your mother.
"I can't believe he cheated on me with you!" You cry
Your mother slaps your face "stop talking you schizophrenic whore" she yells
The end.
