Please don't Forget me Mama

Untitled Part 2

Once Cora had calmed herself and washed away the tears, she rang for O'Brien.
"Milady, are you feeling ok?
"Why?" She asked.
" I just..."
"Never mind, O'Brien I mustn't be late for the gift exchange."

Cora headed down ignoring the tree until she was able to view it from a distance. Oh, how she knew little Michael Robert Crawley would have been excited to see such a tree. She saw his blue eyes had been closer to his father  than hers so she had to include his name, Micheal being Cora's grandfather's name.

She took a deep breath and lined up with her family to give the servants their gifts. She looked at Anna and the tears she were holding almost slipped out. "We prayed for him in church,"she said knowing how inadequate that probably seemed.

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They sat down to dinner, Cora's mind wandering again as Sir Richard again complained about the servants and how it will be done differently at Haxby. She was beginning to agree with Robert about the man and Mary seemed uninterested in him, spending more time with Matthew when the other was in London.

"Cora?" Robert asked. She looked up to see everyone looking at her. They all seemed to be finished with the pudding... Sybil's pudding. She blinked. "Sorry, lets go through."

She was the last to leave the dining room and Robert stopped her. "Are you alright my dear? You seem quiet tonight and you didn't come down to decorate the tree."

"I'm fine, she said with a fake smile.

"You'd better hurry or they'll start the game without you,"he told her.

She wanted to say that would be fine and she'd rather go to bed but she couldn't remind him or he'd be upset too. with a sigh she joined the party in the library. "Milady?" Carson said, handing her a cup of tea. "Thank you, Carson," she replied sitting beside Mama.

She pretended to laugh with everyone but she was getting annoyed by Sir Richard's sarcastic comments about everything their family did.  Finally she was overly tired and very upset that her anger built up. She stood, glared at the man and told him to "SHUT UP FOR GOD'S SAKE!"

Cora!" Mama exclaimed as Robert came in.

Cora's face was red with embarrassment. "Sir Richard, I am very sorry," she all but stuttered, backing out of the room. I apologize to you all , I'll just go to bed."

Robert followed, wishing everyone good night. He was stopped by Carson. "Milord, Mrs. Hughes seems to know why her Ladyship has been quiet today."

"Does she, Carson? Why is that, Pray tell?"

"I worry that it may upset you as well to hear."

"Well, she shouldn't be upset on her own but since she doesn't want to share it, I will try to talk to her. Thank you, Carson."

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Robert entered the room to find Cora on the bed sobbing into her pillow. "Oh my darling," he said,rubbing her back, Please tell me what's wrong."

 She sat up, fixing a glare on him. Robert was taken aback trying to think of what he could have done this time to deserve that look.

"Don't you even think of hm? I do! Everyday! I'm sure he would have loved Christmas! Just seeing him opening up the gift from his Papa would have been so wonderful."

Then it clicked. 'You're speaking of Michael?" He whispered. He hadn't thought of him since that awful day. He couldn't If her were to move on, but he wasn't surprised in the least that Cora thought of him. She blamed herself for what happened.

"You don't think of him?" She asked, crying. "Oh Robert, why not? He's the little boy we longed for and you don't even try  to keep his memory alive?"

He held her tightly. "I'm Not as strong as you, my dearest one. I cannot think of him everyday, but when I do I miss him dreadfully. He's watching over you my darling, i know."

She sniffed and her answer was muffled in his shoulder. "Even though i killed him?"

"Cora, i wish you'd stop blaming yourself. You did nothing to cause this tragedy and Michael knows it! He got to se his beautiful Mama if only for a moment  that  is what matters. We will visit his grave in the morning. It will be good for you to get out of the house."