AFTER DARK, twd

chapter two, blue

DEXTER
LARRY
【s.3 / e.01】

WE ALL SLOWLY AND QUIETLY WALK THROUGH THE DARK TUNNEL IN ATTEMPT TO FIND THE CAFETERIA. As a kid I was always scared of the dark. I feel the little me inside, being all shaky and maybe even crying. It was literally me younger. Now I'm stronger, and better. After a load of therapy because I couldn't even sleep, I even used to have panic attacks. Now, I mean, it happens sometimes, I feel my heart missing beat but, it's bearable I suppose. Rick and Daryl are walking far in front, Hershel is with Maggie and T-dog just in front of me and Joe. And hate how Joe is calm. He's so damn fucking calm. Just like Murphy is so damn fucking happy, and optimistic. She looks like a kid. Glad Joe told her to stay with her little brother who's is the most bearable of them. I don't even know why Rick brought them, it happened so fast, I couldn't even say anything. I thought we were a team, and the base of a team is to communicate and agree together.

I don't trust them. I don't have any reasons to though. I sigh. Dragging more people with us will just add more work and danger, and pain. We can't possibly bear that. "Hey man... i know what it's like to have trust issues, and it's alright. But, just so you know, Murphy is the most trustworthy and amazing person on this earth. So, I'm not asking you to be best friend and start braiding each other's hair but, just be nice with her?" Joe tells me. I roll my eyes. So she tattle me to him. Tells a lot about her, whatever.

I nod and ignore him. I don't give a shit about him, or his amazing girlfriend or whatever she is. I don't care. I just want them to leave us alone. Everything was doing just fine for me, before they came here. Even though, I cant lie saying nothing change since they're , because there's absolutely no difference. It's just weird and it pisses me off.

And Penelope is not helping. Always grabbing my arms, laughing at whatever I says even when I semi insult her. She's pathetic and aggravating. She's a little princess who always got everything in her life. I mean I feel bad her whole family died. So did mine and so did almost everyone. I don't try to compares pain. I get it. But, she's always following me everywhere, like  a small sad dog. It's annoying and sad and annoying. She's a drama magnet and narcissist. She's obsessed with me in a way I don't even understand why, because I'm being mean and rude to her since she start caring too much about me, I feel some daddy issues here and I feel bad.

I have my gun up in front of me in case of anything happens. But, there's no chance it'll change anything for my case. Because, thing is, I don't kill walkers. I hate hurting, even thought I know damn well they're already dead, that they aren't human anymore. That's not even the case, i don't don't kill them because I am guilty of killing someone who was alive before, of killing, i don't give a shit about that. I don't kill them because I'm testing myself. Maybe I'll kill one of them. Well I did kill one. It wasn't really a great memory. I guess it pretty traumatized me.

    Them I found Rick and he saved me. Somehow. Anyway, I guess it's unfair that I don't want Murphy and her boyfriend to stay, since Rick did the same with me. But, I'm trustworthy, and I'm a good person. Well I try to be. I'm kind of loosing my mind here I don't even remember who I was, or how it used to be like. Living. But, it doesn't feel like living anymore, we're just existing at this point, between life and death, I'm drowning.

     "Im really happy you guys took us. I mean we weren't doing so well out there. Especially Tate, she think I don't see it but, she's petrified all the time. She'll probably be furious if she knew I told you that." He laugh nervously. Why is he still talking to me. "I'd be devastated if anything happens to her. Or Adam. I've been with them for so long, and I protect them since Adam is a baby. They're my family. So, as hard is probably is... if you ever hurt any of them I promise that's when I'll betray you." I turn to see him. He doesn't look like the guy who could hurt anyone, but somehow I believe him. Murphy doesn't seem like the girl who could be petrified. She look like she doesn't give a fuck if anyone dies, she seems so happy every time I see her. It's almost unreal. It is unreal. Like a fucking care bear. The pink one. Definitely.