Intoxicated Decisions

『 Part 1 ？ 』

Orange plastic rolled over the sweaty palm the Russian held out. The pill bottle was filled. His government placed him in no position to make decisions after he was labeled with mental illness. Strong amounts of Lithium inhabited his system. Making the Russian almost zombie like in behavior. His unconscious look and distance from others did bring questions among those he called friends. Holding the pill bottles close Ivan's eyes teared up, "I'm sorry." Apologizing to his sisters, the sinking hole in his chest only deepened.The organ he often had to place back in his chest was painfully lonely; lock away. Feelings were numbed by the dull meaning behind what a life he was trying to carry. A weight of an entire country, all it's population, sorrows, and mistakes. Ivan counted the pills out and played with them. His shaky hands lifted them from the table to his mouth. Swallowing many he drained it away with water, reaching out to get more of the varying pieces waiting for the dark to snatch his mind away and leave his eyes shut to the blinding light of future. Getting up he stumbled over the couch since intoxication rattled his brain and movements; not only was he intoxicated, but the depressant of vodka was only worsening his suicide ideation. Laying on the old and stiff couch he placed his head on a pillow laid over the arm rest, it was soft but the knit blanket he happened to grab was itchy. Kicking it off, as it was supposed to be comfy, engulfing him in warmth, he got up; drunkenly stumbling along the halls of his home to go lay in his bed. Flopping his body into the sheets he curled up dragging the covers to his cheeks. His body was shaking with worry and fear. He was finally getting what he wanted, but he was scared; terrified. Ivan was dumbstruck he actually did it. Not being sure how the scene would play out he laid anxiously; not knowing he would be having a seizure. Hours were able to pass by as the Russian slept in the tangle of covers. The soft snore and light breaths were replaced with gasps. The heat from his body was horrid. Sweat drenched his clothes and surrounding covers. Using his arms he pushed the thick blanket off his body. Swinging his legs over he fell instantly. His legs hadn't supported him, it was unusual. Unknown of. Which started to scare him. Ivan was supposed to die in his sleep. The socking amounts of heat radiating from his skin and fast heart was terrifying. The bang against his rib cage was fast and confusing. The hallucinations were dreadful, darkness closing on his body. Though unsure if it was death or not his fear and racing heart blacked him out before the medicine could. Though all the strong medicine was working away at shutting down his vital organs and corroding more of his mental health.