"Do you believe in love?"
We were eating dinner and out of nowhere, Reagan spoke up. The question was random, spontaneous, ridiculous even. For how can I voice my irrelevant opinion on a philosophical question with no real answer with a yes or a no? Besides, I was eleven. I haven't got any experience with love aside from the parental endearments from my godparents.
"Um...I guess. I'm mean that's how I'm here, right?" I shrugged and gestured to myself, wondering if that reply was up to satisfaction.
"Why do you? I mean -emotions, love, ideas- they are all figments of our imagination. They have no physical form. They don't even exist. They're nothing but the result of the interconnected neurons that structures our brain, which is just a loaf of meat like the one before you." She poked the chicken in front of us with her fork. I set my spoon down, feeling my appetite slip away.
"So are the rest of our mental life. Our ambitions, dreams, thoughts... they aren't materialistic like the world we live in, they aren't real in the way we are." She continued, now waving her fork around as she ranted. "In fact, they belong to our neurons more than they belong to us. How can you be so sure they are legit?"
"I mean, I can think and so can you. You probably were thinking as you gave that disturbingly philosophical yet dystopian speech. But I guess scientifically what you said makes sense. Although all my emotions and dreams feel very real to me." I paused, pondering a bit and tried scouring for the flaw that just didn't complete this jigsaw puzzle of thought. "You can't explain everything with science, right? That's why we have to keep magic away from muggles, it's supernatural. So I guess that means our mental life could coexist with the physical world we reside in, balance it out in the grand scheme of things."
Reagan stared straight ahead at the empty bench opposite of her. "I guess."
Something has been bugging my mind ever since she asked that question. "Can I ask you something?" I asked delicately. This newfound friendship was still fresh and leaned more towards a mutual understanding and respect. Whatever acquaintance we have now is still fragile like a thin sheet of ice, breakable at the slightest pressure.
In the few months since I spoke to her as the Owlery, we grew closer. We understood each other, the struggles of growing up as orphans, the burden of the Marauders' legacy, the need for solitude. From idle chats to walking together to class to accompanying each other in the hospital wing after failing drastically in Madame Hooch's lessons to sitting together during meals.
This friendship was unusual to say the least, no life threatening situation, no opening up to each other immediately, no spilling secrets to each other, but it was precious to me. Fear of losing all the progress I made so far made me skirt around sensitive subjects, it wasn't my place to ask anyways. But this time my curiosity got the best of me.
Reagan looked down at her plate quietly for a moment before glancing back up. "Sure."
"Do you not believe in love?"
"Oh, I do." She took a bite of her cucumber sandwich.
I stayed silent, too polite to point out that all her arguments thus far contradicted with her controversial statement.
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Sixth year
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"Pass the pumpkin juice." Aspen mumbled with a mouth full of food, holding her hand out and beckoned with her fingers impatiently.
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Welcome to MY World
FanfictionI saw her later at the sorting ceremony, standing in line with the other first years. Others were bursting with an equilibrium of excitement and nervousness. However, she just stood there silently by herself, slightly away from everyone else. Her sa...
