[ON HOLD] Two Sides of the Same Coin (Damian Wayne x reader)

Chapter 15

 Damian's pov

I was shocked. No, shock was not strong enough to describe the storm of feelings battling inside my head.

After I woke up from the drug Y/N had injected in my system, Bruce had told me what had happened at the little airport. It had been a close call. A few minutes more and I would have been flying to the League HQ.

When the last effects of the drug cleared out, Kate, Dick and Bruce came to my room with a lot of questions. My heart tightened at the tear-stained cheeks of Kate. Dick was hurt and Bruce was furious because he knew I had hidden information from them that led to this situation.

So this time, I told them everything. Our share childhood, Nyssa, her supposed death, the night at the wood factory and finally our talk in the woods.

After my long monologue, I let out a deep sigh, leaning against my pillows, feeling a weight had left my shoulders.

Laying in my bed, I watched the meeting that was happening in the Batcave through the CCTV camera. Bruce was right , we couldn't let her be taken by the police. She would find a way to escape any prison. Even now, she might be planning an escape from the Batcave.

I watched as her face leaned against the bars, her gaze not leaving Father. Her words echoed in the room as well as in my head.

"Maybe you should let go of your moral. Snap my neck or lodge a bullet in my brain and everything would be over."

No one said a word after that. They gazed at each other for a moment, analysing each other reactions. Then Bruce turned around and walked away, Kate and Dick following him out of the Batcave.

My eyes were still on Y/n's face. My breath was stuck into my throat after hearing her words. I watched as her grinning face changed into a blank expression. She leaned back against the chair, letting her head falling back, eyes trained on the ceiling, unblinking. I recognized her moves as part of the League's training. It felt like watching her soul leaving her body. Right now, her body was an empty shell. She was somewhere else, where no one, nothing could reach her.

Bruce, Kate and Dick entered my room a few minutes later. They sat around my bed, looking at the TV screen like me.

Dick frowned at the unmoving body on the screen. It was like she wasn't breathing.

"What is she doing?" he asked.

"It's a mixed of self-hypnosis and meditation. It disconnects the mind from the body. Mastered, you could do anything to the body right now, the person would see it but not feel anything." I explained.

Alfred came in with a tray and sat next to the bed, handing each of us a cup of tea.

"It is scary and weird to watch" Dick commented.

"When do you find the need to disconnect completely from your body?" Kate asked. Her eyes were trained on her cup. She couldn't look at Y/n, even on a screen.

"Right now, I think she needs to concentrate and clear her mind from unnecessary thoughts. But by doing so, she let her physical body unprotected. Ra's al Ghul often used to lock himself near the Lazarus pit of the HQ to do it in order to plan his next steps. He knew he couldn't be harmed." I said.

"If she doing this right now, it means that she has no other choice right?" Dick asked.

"I think so. By watching your talk I saw a few things. She was hoping for me to appear. She knows that right now I'm her only way out." I answered. "She was also not sure about the way this little talk would go. She knew that she had angered all of you. And when Dick came in, she was far from calm."

"What do you mean?" Bruce asked.

"Watch." I took the remote and winded back to the moment when Dick walked in front of the cell. We could clearly see her muttering something and pulling on her handcuffs. Then I accelerated the video and stop when Kate stepped in front of the cell. Y/n pressed her back against the backrest of the chair, trying to create as much space as she could with her limited movements. "There."

"Did she think I was going to hurt her?" Kate whispered.

I nodded, feeling a lump forming in my throat. "Torture is common is her line of work. I think that it was a reflex. She was getting ready to do what she is doing right now."

"But I thought it was a way to clear one's mind."

"If she has mastered it – and I believe she did – she might use it while being torture." I explicated.

Alfred cleared his throat.

"Forgive me for the interruption, but I would like to share my point of view. I don't think she thought that Kate was going to hurt her. As you said earlier, she was far from calm. Moreover, when Kate confronted her on her actions, she said that she enjoyed the time that they spend together."

Kate looked down at her fingers around the steaming cup.

"I listened to everything Damian had said about the League and his childhood there." he continued. "Y/n had been in the League for a very long time and had only known this way of life; rough, with violence and pain, without any love and affection. I truly think that she had felt something with Kate." He looked at her with compassion "It was – maybe – not the affection that you were wishing for. But I think you brought her comfort and it might have mess with her mind a bit." He glanced at the screen. "She might have wanted to disconnect to get her emotions on check."

We stayed silent.

"Finally, to add to all of this, I think that we could all agree on the fact that she despises Master Bruce because she finds him responsible for taking Damian away from the League ... and from her."

Bruce agreed to his words. "It adds up with what she told you in the wood. She was angry at you for not coming back, for leaving her there." He said to me.

I took a sip of my tea, trying to ease the lump in my throat.

"That's why I don't understand her." I frowned. "Her words imply that she does know that the League is evil, the my mother is ... what she is. So with her skills, why does she stay?"

Alfred pat my shoulder gently.

"She only knows the League. It's part of her identity. She might know how to fight, to compartmentalize, to kill without blinking but leaving the world you had known your whole life might be extremely scary. She knows the League is a terrible organisation but at least she is part of it. She knows her place in it. If she leaves the League, where is her place?"

I sighed, my eyes returning to the screen, gazing at Y/n's still body. And I wondered ...

What if I had come back? Would I have forgotten my father's teaching and become the fearless, emotionless man my mother wanted me to be? Y/n would have been on my side as my sword and shield.

Would I have brought back a bit of humanity to the League?

What if my mother had never brought me to Gotham? I would have killed as many people as Y/n, if not more. I remembered my anger and need for revenge. I remembered the feeling of cracking bones and warm blood under my knuckles as I was fighting my grandfather's enemies, against my father's orders.

Y/n never had the choice to leave the HQ. When we were children we trained until our own blood stained the sand of the yard. What have been her life since I had left?

A little voice whispered into my ears: harder, more cruel, deadlier.  

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Hello dear reader :)

Yes, I'm still alive and still updating this story. I'm sorry for not updating quickly. I would like to update more regularly but I don't want to make any promises that I don't know if I can keep. The only promise I can make is that I will finish this story. 

So thank you if you keep reading this and thank you for your patience.

Take care and have a nice day :)