The San Andreas Bowl

Mandy the dingo tells Schadenfreude, "I only date tough guys, Tyler."

"Please call me Schadenfreude. I can be tough. I can win a fight. Would that prove I'm tough?" Schadenfreude asks.

Mandy responds, "Yes, 'Schadenfreude.'"

Mandy rolls her eyes. Corey Forrest stands next to Mandy. Corey Forest is six foot and four inches tall, two hundred pound, coyote that is the University of Aster City football team linebacker.

Corey says, "Also, Schadenfreude, there's a football game tomorrow that you can come. I'll buy you and your mom tickets. So please come."

Corey is one of the few nice football players as the University of Aster City football team bullies Wilbur Wilcum, a short male fox with orange fur and red hair. Roy Armstrong is a six foot and four inches tall, two hundred and twenty-five pound, albino tiger standing with his albino serval friend Scott Major. Gus Nelson is a six foot and four inches tall, four hundred and twenty-nine pounds, gorilla that has Wilbur in a headlock.

Roy Armstrong mockingly asks, "Who's a cute little boy?"

Scott Major teases, "D'awww, lookit him!"

Gus Nelson baby-talks, "Cootchie-coo!"

Wilbur goes cross-eyed, his tongue hangs out. The bullies grab Wilbur by his heart-print boxers and hang him on a tree branch.

Schadenfreude heads to Aster City Central Station to find someone to fight. Old Man Thorn is sleeping in his cardboard box with a newspaper as a blanket on a train. Schadenfreude sees the hobo grey rat sleeping.

Schadenfreude harasses, "Come on cheesemonger, wake up. Cheesemonger, hit me! Hit me!"

Schadenfreude shakes the cardboard box gently to instigate a fight.

Old Man Thorn says, "Don't bother me, you don't want me to hit you."

At this point, someone in the train station begins recording with their DreamCorp cellphone.

Schadenfreude harasses, "I dare you to hit me, cheesemonger!"

Old Man Thorn gets up, kicks him in the chest. Schadenfreude is sent off balance, not expecting the strength from a seemingly frail old man. Old Man Thorn swipes his legs out from under him using a double-leg takedown. Old Man Thorn stomps him a few times and shouts, "Now, DON'T BOTHER ME AGAIN!"

Schadenfreude pisses himself. After having the literal piss beaten out of him, Schadenfreude crawls away off the train in a puddle of his own urine. Old Man Thorn goes back to sleep.

The next day, Schadenfreude is at the football game with Frankie Dudley. The University of Aster City's Beasts take on the U.C.L.S. Bookworms.

Roy is the quarterback, wearing a jersey with the number #12, Gus is the team's defensive tackle, wearing a jersey with the number #69, Aaron Anderson and Alan Anderson are twin grey wolves with yellow eyes, both six foot and one inch tall, two hundred and twenty-five pounds, who are both the team's running backs. Aaron wears a jersey with the number #40, Alan wears a jersey with the number #57

Frankie is on her DreamCorp phone.

"Hey, mommy, can I ask you to do me a favor?" Schadenfreude asks.

Frankie looks at Schadenfreude and says, "Of course."

Schadenfreude says, "Don't look at the news today."

"Okay??" Frankie questions.

"Thank you!" Schadenfreude responds nervously.

After the first quarter, the University of Aster City's Beasts had scored sixty-three points, the U.C.L.S. Bookworms had scored zero points.

Frankie is confused. Schadenfreude looks away nervously.

"Why did you ask me to not look at the news?" Frankie asks.

"Because I want you to enjoy the football game!" Schadenfreude lies poorly.

"Alright?" Frankie questions.

Schadenfreude says, in an obvious attempt to change the subject, "...Want snacks? Corey is paying."

Frankie shrugs and says, "Sure."

Schadenfreude asks, "Hot dogs or nachos? Do you want soda?"

"Nachos and soda," Frankie says.

After the second quarter, the University of Aster City's Beasts had scored another sixty-three points, the U.C.L.S. Bookworms had scored zero points.

Schadenfreude goes to the concessions stand and gets nachos and soda for both of them. Schadenfreude comes down to their seats, holding their snacks in his arms.

After the third quarter, the University of Aster City's Beasts had scored another fifty-four points, the U.C.L.S. Bookworms had still scored zero points.

Frankie is eating nachos and checking her phone. On the Weazel News app, the cellphone footage of Old Man Thorn fighting Schadenfreude is playing. Frankie Dudley is confused and panicking. Schadenfreude looks over and sees Frankie is on her phone, he begins panicking. Frankie looks at Schadenfreude and is panicking.

"Hey, m-mommy..." Schadenfreude tries to act nonchalantly.

Frankie demands, "APOLOGIZE TO THIS MAN, NOW!"

In the fourth quarter, 4:45PM, the cameraman is getting bored as the Beasts continue to dominate the Bookworms. The camera shoots footage of a low-flying plane. The camera then shoots footage of the packed crowd.

Schadenfreude gets on the ground and begins kissing the tops of Frankie's feet.

Schadenfreude responds, "Okay, mommy, please don't be mad!"

Frankie says, "I'm not mad, I'm disappointed."

Schadenfreude whimpers pathetically. That's even worse.

The camera zooms up on Schadenfreude as he gives the tops of Frankie's feet more kisses.

Schadenfreude responds, "Okay, mommy! I'll apologize to him."

Schadenfreude goes to find Old Man Thorn in Aster City Central Station. Old Man Thorn is sleeping.

"Ex-excuse me, old man. C-could you please wake up?" Schadenfreude says timidly.

Old Man Thorn wakes up and exclaims, "Huh?"

Schadenfreude lets a bit of scared wetness in his pants.

Schadenfreude says, "I would like to apologize to you. Would you mind coming to a football game? I'll pay and buy you snacks!"

"Snacks?!" Old Man Thorn questions.

"Nachos with cheese!" Schadenfreude responds.

Old Man Thorn gets up. Schadenfreude leads the way to the football game. Old Man Thorn is following. Schadenfreude goes to the concessions stand and gets nachos for Old Man Thorn. Schadenfreude comes back to Frankie and Old Man Thorn. Old Man Thorn begins eating nachos.

Schadenfreude says to Old Man Thorn, "I'm sorry for my behavior."

"Apology accepted!" Old Man Thorn exclaims.

"Thank you!" Schadenfreude responds.

"You did good," Frankie says.

Schadenfreude smiles. Frankie smiles.

After the fourth quarter, the University of Aster City's Beasts had scored another forty-two points, the U.C.L.S. Bookworms had never scored. The final score was two hundred and twenty-two to zero.

The cameraman filmed Schadenfreude, Frankie, and Old Man Thorn for most of the fourth quarter as they leave the bleachers angering the football team.

Wilbur Wilcum, wearing a blue pilot uniform, tries landing a plane in the stadium after the football game to show off but crashes into the bleachers. Roy Armstrong sees the police help Wilbur out of the plane and gets inspired to become a police officer.

Frankie Dudley takes Schadenfreude and says, "Let's go home."

Schadenfreude heads home with Frankie.