contains a little bit of drug use, along with nic
i sat in my pitch black bedroom, trying to sleep. i have been laying here for an hour with one thing on my mind. stella. stella and i mutually broke up a few days ago. in the moment i would be fine, but i wasn't. we haven't talked since that night. the night i left her house crying in the pouring rain.
~
three nights ago, we got into an argument. this lasted a while until we both decided we couldn't keep arguing over petty shit. i held in my tears while gathering my stuff, putting my shoes on, and walking out the door. the second i closed that door, i felt a hollow spot in my chest. the summer rain slammed down as i started sobbing. my tears matched the rhythm of the storm. it was only a ten minute walk home, but i was already cold and soaked.
i looked at bus times, but waiting for a bus would take longer than 10 minutes, so i just walked home. i didn't get the usual "are you home safe?" text, which tore me apart even more. i snorted a roxy, waited til i couldn't feel anything, and went to sleep.
~ (present night)
i am not gonna do anything to numb the pain, i'm just gonna go on a walk. i don't wanna get fucked up. i walk out into the cool air, it's still mildly cloudy, but not raining anymore. i can smell the thick smoke in the air. i continue to walk until i reach my favorite spot to smoke before putting an airpod in, playing one of my favorite playlists. it may be mine and stella's place but it's still a dope place.
i'm not gonna smoke weed tonight. i pull a cigarette out, and light it up. (yum a nicotine addiction) i take a long drag, holding the smoke in my lungs. i barely smoke cigs unless it's after sex. there's just a calming vibe to smoking anything after fucking. like it melts away all stress.
i'm pulled out of my thoughts when i hear rustling on the rooftop. i carefully pull out my butterfly knife, flipping it open just in case. i here footsteps walking towards me. i swiftly get off the edge of the graffiti covered roof. my knife is clutched in one hand, cig in the other. a dark figure slowly walks towards me. there is little light coming from under us, from structures and lights around us. i see a body but can't make out a face.
"i swear to god," i say annoyed. this isn't very uncommon, especially being a girl, i'm just annoyed it was happening tonight.
"yo, calm down," stella says.
"stella?" i ask, happy it was her, but confused.
"hey. i thought it was you, wanted to talk and maybe smoke wit you?" she offers nervously.
"yeah, alright. come sit with me. the cig's almost gone though."
"that's fine," she sounds sad. maybe she does care?
we sit on the ledge and talk. we cry. i tell her that i love her, and i'm sorry for arguing all the time, but i wouldn't argue if i didn't care. she explains her point.
"you think we could make our relationship work? you know, if we stop all the arguing and just talk like this?" i ponder.
"i believe we could. we'd have to work on it though."
"i'm glad to hear that. wanna sleep over at my place? we can talk more there."
"let's go."
we walk 15 minutes to my house, before laying in my bed and turning music on through my TV.
when i check the time about an hour later, it turns out more than an hour has passed. it's been three hours since we got back home and it's now five am. i spent the entire night talking to stella, and got her back.
"goodnight my love," i whisper while rubbing her head.
"goodnight. i love you." with those last words, she falls asleep on my chest.
authors note: FIRST STORY IN A WHILEEE
still gotta spell check it, but expect more soon :) y'all stay safe <3
