Lost In Translation

CHAPTER 10

Olivia leaned against the door after Fedor left. She shut her eyes and wrapped her arms around herself. She longed for Fedor to be her lover again. Gosh, she wanted nothing more than to go to bed with him each night, and wake up in his arms each morning, but she could not see sense in foolishly lusting after Fedor, nor was she persuaded that there existed, the element of security in a future, with Fedor, for her and Rebecca. Fedor was too good looking, too powerful, too wealthy, too ___ much! Could little her satisfy Fedor, with her meager offerings, for ___forever? Yes, life offered no guarantees, considering sky high divorce statistics in every country, but should she subject Rebecca to the emotional roller coaster? Was Rebecca not safer, with just the two of them, as opposed to having a non-permanent Fedor in their lives? Olivia did not want Rebecca growing up, hating her for introducing a father into her life, who may disappear after a few years. She did not want a hurting Rebecca in her teenage years, blaming her, for a father who may abandon them, when he finds a new love interest in a younger, female and then forget all about Rebecca. From her observation, teenagers could be emotional time bombs. Teenagers blamed their parents and hated the world for all their all-consuming emotional turbulence. Olivia did not have all the answers as a parent. There was no standard parenting rule book, that could produce role model children. Olivia very much wanted Fedor to play a hands-on parental role in Rebecca's life. She wanted her baby to see and enjoy her daddy every day, but it frightened her. The uncertainty terrified her. Her heart told her to jump in, marry Fedor, see where the future takes her, but was that wise? Was she swayed by her own lustful desire or was she taking into consideration, Rebecca's best interest? She silently screamed at her inability to be decisive and dragged herself to bed.

The following week, Fedor approached Olivia to take some time off, for them to go to Russia. He wanted his parents to meet Rebecca. His enthusiasm was infectious. Olivia was curious for Rebecca to meet her paternal grandparents. So, she'd emailed her boss and requested some leave time.

It was a Saturday morning. They were on Fedor's private jet to Russia. It would be an event less four-hour flight for Rebecca. Environmental and global warming concerns guiltily aside, Olivia was thankful, that the transit time would be expedient. Being a mother of an infant, she was thankful for small mercies and conveniences that would otherwise present too much of a challenge, with limited options to pacify a child, at ten thousand kilometers above Terra firma.

It had been a tearful goodbye with Sophia. She had given Olivia instructions on what Rebecca's favourite foods were, how best to coax Rebecca to her afternoon nap, and there was a bagful of Rebecca's favourite toys and story books. Thank heavens they had no luggage limitations. Olivia had just the one bag for herself, but there were three for Rebecca, all weather clothes took two bags, and another for, books and toys. Olivia had been pleasantly surprised when Fedor gave her an envelope to hand to Sophia. It contained more than two weeks pay. When Olivia protested, that Fedor did not need to offer so much, Fedor had been gracious when he'd murmured to her tenderly, that Rebecca was his responsibility too.

'Are you comfortable?'

Fedor knelt down in front of Olivia. He boldly kissed her cheek. She ignored the heated intent in his eyes. She was going crazy with her own need for him and he knew it, felt it and saw the evidence in her own eyes. She shut her eyes for a second, dampening the desire

'Yes. Off course,' Olivia smiled. 'Champagne, caviar, seafood, all my favourites treats and all the unhealthy snacks you have spread out for Rebecca, what can One, complain about?' Her eyes shifted for a second to Rebecca, on the floor, content with a bagful of her toys.

Fedor looked away guiltily, his cheekbones a glowing red. 'It's just to distract her during the flight. I won't go overboard, when we arrive at home,' he grinned, then stopped when he observed Olivia's raised eyebrows.