The Smiles Family

Chapter 13

The unfortunate reality of Smiley having successfully tricked AJ crashes down on the boy like a landslide— it feels to him like he's been buried under hundreds of pounds of rock. The air is constantly being pressed from his lungs when he remembers his screwup. He doesn't know if Ill will ever forgive him, but he knows for sure that he'll never forgive himself. He put them both in danger because of his lack of intellect, and his own selfish want for freedom.

They both know he acts too much on impulse, and never actually stops to think about things. Smiley knew it, too. He's always been that way. That's probably how he ended up in the godforsaken place. Once he sees an opening, he'll go for it. Never stopping to think about the consequences— never even letting the idea of strategy cross his mind. Ill is the smart one, always has been. That's why all her plans work in the end. If it weren't for him, Ill would have probably found the actual exit. And they both know that.

AJ eventually moves on from the barrage of self-doubt to the dream. The dream with his mother. It was the first time— as far as he could remember— that AJ experienced something outside of the facility. Was he supposed to be happy or sad? Angry or scared? Had the dream slipped through or had it been purposefully let go to distract him? To distract him from reality or the fact that he'd been tricked? Was the memory fully fake or just tampered with? Why was his mother leaving him at the motel? Who was the SFF? Why did they want to take AJ from his mother?

The questions buzz around in his head with no answers like a hive of angry bees until AJ is tired enough to fall asleep. He's been collapsed on the bed for hours now, and the lights have been out since they were thrown back into the quarantine. They most likely won't come on again for a long time, so AJ's sleep won't be interrupted much. Not that he is tired, there's just not much to do in the quarantine. And, as he was quick to figure out during the endless days, sleeping passes the time much quicker.

---

"AJ? Are you okay?" Ill whispers in his ear. AJ jumps, shaking himself awake. He takes a moment to register what Ill had asked, his stomach plummeting when he remembers the earlier events. "Yeah. I'm sorry." He answers. "Sorry for what?" The girl's eyes show sympathy mixed with confusion. AJ sits up, facing her properly. "He set this up— he set everything up. His absence, the vents— even the screwdriver! And I was too stupid to notice." AJ looks at the girl, his eyes stinging. "No, you weren't stupid."

"Yes, I was!"

"No— AJ, listen to me! You were trying to do the right thing! You tried to help me escape! That's why you were tricked— you were so focused on getting us out of here, getting us safe. It's not your fault." AJ looks at her, and the tears that were threatening to spill begin to drip down his face. Ill hugs him, her comfort calming his anguish. He knows, without a doubt, he wouldn't have made it this far without her. A warm feeling blooms in his chest, drying his tears and calming the stormy sea of his thoughts.

When she pulls away from him, AJ feels as if all his anger and sadness has melted away. "Thanks, Ill." He smiles at her. "No problem." She says, flashing a goofy grin. The two sit in silence on the small, cushy bed enjoying the rare moment of happiness— a moment that rekindles the flame of hope between them. AJ is the first one to speak, and the two make small talk for a while. They talk about the simple things— birthdays, holidays, the likes of which are strangely never celebrated at the facility. Eventually, AJ mentions his dream again, talking about the more interesting details like the SFF and how they were trying to take him away. 

"SFF... I feel like I've heard that before. Maybe from the guards in the hallways." AJ gives her a look. "Before we ended up here. The guards aren't very good at whispering. Man, I'm ready to get out of here." AJ nods, the feeling obviously mutual. "I wonder how long this 'observation' thing will last." Ill nods slowly, probably counting how many days the two have been cooped up in the quarantine, then yawns. "Well, I think I'm going to hit the sack. Care to join me?"

"But of course," AJ stretches, adding in a snobbish voice, "my lady." Ill laughs and jabs her elbow between the boy's ribs, causing him to yelp. "Then goodnight, fine sir." She adds mockingly before rolling onto her side, back facing AJ. The boy sighs and rolls over as well, content with the fact that he and Ill aren't separated by the door that used to be shut between them whenever he gave up counting the hours. He finds himself thinking back to all the incidents leading up to this point— the ones that brought the two closer together. He thought about how he was convinced Ill would hate him because he let himself get tricked and put them both in danger. Instead, he had found a whole new side of her. One that he hoped would be around for a good while.

That day ended with happiness instead of the anger that AJ had been mulling over— the one he'd torn himself into pieces over. Ill had helped him realize that it wasn't the fact that he'd been tricked but rather the reason that he should be focusing on. He'd just been too determined to escape with Ill; and that wasn't at all a bad thing. And so, AJ feel asleep grinning— the seed of hope sprouting within him. He wasn't alone, instead far from it. And he didn't need another terrible incident to see that.