𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐄.

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Music has always been an integral part of my life. I couldn't function in silence. Mainly because then I was left alone with my thoughts. Whenever I needed a moment of break from reality, I simply turned on the music. Night walks, reading, or aimless driving had a similar effect on me.

At that moment I needed it more than ever. Oblivion.

To say I was stressed would be a huge understatement. I was fucking terrified. My hands tightened on the steering wheel when I saw a sign in the distance informing me about the entrance to the city. I didn't need navigation or road signs. I knew this route by heart.

You might wonder why anyone would be so worried about returning to their hometown? I think that avoiding any contact with your family for almost a year to the point that you are not sure if you have anything to return to at all is reason enough.

Of course, that wasn't the only reason I was nervous. However, when I left New Orleans, I promised myself that I would leave my troubles behind and start over. Without constantly worrying about it all.

Well, at least until trouble finds me.

I rub my aching neck while mentally cursing my stupid idea from the previous evening to spend the night in a motel. Yes, the road was damn long and I was tired, but I could probably survive those few hours without sleep. I would probably feel better than after a few hours of sleep on an uncomfortable mattress.

Keeping my eyes on the road, I turned the radio volume knob. The music coming from it was the only companion of my twenty-five-hour journey. The playlist I created back in high school ended about an hour ago, so all I had to do was listen to random songs because I was too lazy to turn it on again.

Drop everything now,
Meet me in the pouring rain,
Kiss me on the sidewalk,
Take away the pain,
'Cause I see sparks fly, whenever you smile

Listening to songs that were inappropriate for the situation was probably my tradition. Whenever I was sad, I listened to happy songs and cried about how much of a failure my life was. When I was happy, I listened to sad songs to be in solidarity with all the people who were sad. At least that's how I explained it to myself.

Get me with those green eyes, baby

Instantly, all my positive emotions disappeared. Spotify definitely hated me. To use Taylor Swift against me so perfidiously? A very shitty move.

With each house I passed, my anxiety increased. I was afraid of how my family would perceive my sudden return. After all, I've barely spoken to them for the past year. No matter what my reason was, they had the right to be angry at me.

I turned off the radio as I pulled into the driveway of a house I didn't expect to see again so soon. All my confidence evaporated. My heart was beating incredibly fast considering I hadn't even left the vehicle yet.

I'll do it. I convinced myself in my mind. I just needed a few minutes to think about a few things. Or maybe a few hours.

I jumped in fear when suddenly a loud sound broke the silence. For a moment I didn't know what was happening, then I realized it was just my phone ringing.

 For a moment I didn't know what was happening, then I realized it was just my phone ringing

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