Lay Down and Cry

He ran the drills, running through the fields, running all the simulators, beating previous or old scores. It all became tiring.
For James, It was all so tiring that getting up in the morning was so difficult. Getting up is the most important thing James can do. He has so much stress on him, the stress of the war, earth's survival, good grades, money to pay for everything, a good future after the war, and keeping up with his crush; Ryan Kinkade.

He was madly in love with Ryan. Everything about Ryan made James feel happy. His smiles, his approving and disapproving grunts, his eyes, his figure, personality, talents, laughs, and everything else about him. Ryan was the only person who kept him from giving up on all of his achievements. He loved Ryan to the moon and back. He hopes that Ryan reciprocates those feelings. He hoped; Hoped that the world decided to not give up on him again and finally give him light during this dark path. He needed this light. The burning fire in his heart, which plays as the candle, is burning out. Especially since his birthday is tomorrow. James would be turning 20, the damned age that everyone says is the best year of your life. The year of life where everything changes.

"What if nothing changes.." He says to himself as he lay in his bed. The bed that held his memories with himself, secrets of himself. The secrets of which will never be revealed to the world. He hoped they were never revealed. It would break him. He's already so damaged and broken if another problem is added... Who knows what will happen.

"James!" Ina called, "Iverson wants to see you!"

James groaned, rubbing his eyes. The dark circles under his eyes grew and grew every minute he was awake. If that was humanely possible.

He forced himself off the bed and found himself striding to Mr. Iverson's office. He was swaying with each step. How tired was he?

"You wanted to see me, Sir?" He addressed, eyes hung low and breath steady.

"James, look. I know you are tired. In fact, I can see that everyone is tired. But I have an important mission for you. Are you up for it?" Iverson asks, folding his hands on his table.
James soon became alerted.
"Yes, Sir. I can handle it, what time would you like Leifsdottir, Rizavi, Kinkade, and I to head out?" he asked, straightening his posture, now appearing an inch taller.

"You might have misunderstood what I am saying. You are the only one going, this is simply a one-man job. You will be leaving now. We don't have all day." Mr. Iverson lectured.

He strode through the halls, taking quick glances around him. Some walls had pictures from the late 2000s or pictures from last year's graduates. He was close friends with many of those graduates but, because of the war, not even half remained. James decided not to dwell on it any longer, the more he thought about it. The more he blamed himself.

James finally arrived at his hangar. The task was simple but god was it draining. Really draining, he was in such a bad mood. Such a bad one in fact that when he met up with one of the allies, who wanted to share resources and supplies with the garrison, he almost ended up yelling at them.

The thought of guilt subsided. Then once again he flopped onto his bed. He wanted to feel something other than sadness. It was so suppressing, and god did it hold him down. There were chains placed all over his body while he lay on the floor, chained down. He couldn't do anything, he was helpless. Waiting there for someone to save him from these restraints. But If James continued to sulk, who knew when that day would arrive.

The clock on the wall repeated the same pattern.

Tick
Tock
Tick
Tock
Tick
Tock
It continued on for so long that James lost track of time. When he looked at the clock at first he saw 12:30 am. But after laying down on his bed helpless, the clock finally struck 3:45 am. He inhaled... but his chest felt so heavy, he felt so surfaced. Then soon he found himself falling asleep.