Rear View [Zayn centric]

Chapter 10

Zain and the boys had been working non stop during that last month – everything while touring –, and he was feeling more stressed than usual. It had been a rough month, with people hating on him because of his relationship with Perrie and all the lies their Management was leaking to the press. He had left social media because it was starting to take – if possible – a bigger toll on him. He wasn't hungry anymore and it didn't matter how tired he felt, he spent his nights restless, fighting against his growing anxiety or crying himself to sleep even if it was just for half an hour. The amount of weight he had lost was becoming more evident every day. He was reaching his own limits. And the boys knew. Everybody knew. But it wasn't until after a concert they realized that something – anything – had to be done or else they were going to lose Zain for good.

Zain didn't know what exactly was happening, but he could feel it – the sweat, the accelerated heartbeat, the uneasiness, the hunger – he could feel it all on his bones. When they had started the concert that night he was feeling like he could barely breath, too worn out to actually carry on with the show – which he managed to do like he had been doing it for a while. But when they finished the last song, he couldn't even walk. He was too tired, too overwhelmed. Not even the adrenaline from the show was strong enough to keep him going at least until they made it to the hotel. They had barely left the stage when he felt to the ground unconscious.

The boys' reactions were the result of pure shock. Louis started shouting and running to stop Zain from hitting his head on the ground, Harry started crying while Niall tried to comfort him and Liam was completely lost. He had felt like Zain was exaggerating it all just to get more attention – more solos, more questions during interviews – but know he took his time to observe the tiny figure that his mate had become. The skinny jeans he was wearing were hanging loose from his hips and they didn't fit on his knees nor his ankles. His arms were so thin under his jersey it was actually scary. And then he saw his face. Even if it seemed expressionless pain could be read all over the tanner boy's features – prominent cheekbones, purple bags under his eyes, all the color drained from his beautiful face and the undeniable smell of tobacco instead of Zain's usual perfume –. Suddenly, Liam felt all the weight from the sorrow that the older lad was feeling resting over his shoulders. All the times he was rude to him, those days he didn't even talk to him thinking he was an attention seeker, the unnecessarily cruel comments that fell out of his mouth every time he talked to the boy; all of it was hitting Liam at once. And it wasn't until he heard Louis' desperate voice calling for a doctor to help them that he didn't react. He started to run looking for Paul or anyone who could help him, really. But by the time he had found the help, it wasn't needed anymore. When he came back into the room Zain was at, the kid – which is what he seemed, with his lost bambi eyes looking everywhere, searching a familiarity that could have never been found there – was back to consciousness.

"I want to go home" Zain whispered with all the strength he had left, not really waiting for an answer at all. "I need to go home" and even if all of them heard him, no one found the guts to respond him, again.

Paul was watching the scene with a broken heart. The boy he had seen grow from an awkward teenager full of talent and joy to a young man who wished nothing but to disappear was killing him too. How sad all of them were looking all of a sudden, how tired, how all the youth and the happiness that used to radiate off of them had become tiredness and red eyes, hangovers and bitterness was something he couldn't bear any longer.

"I'm talking to Simon, boy" Paul told him, and Zain broke in silent tears. He truly couldn't stand it any longer. It was just too much. "It's alright. You gonna be fine, I promise" Paul said, and left to talk to Simon about Zain before it was too late for the boy.

***

"Zain" Simon's deep voice called him, waking him up from his slumber. His head was pounding and he felt slightly dizzy, so he barely reacted to the sound of his name being called by the older man. "Are you listening to me?" When he nodded, his head felt even worse than it had the previous instants, but he didn't even have the force to complain about it. He just felt so drained.

"What is that you wanted to tell us, uh?" Louis told Simon, tired as well of the man, his voice high and clear, his accent as thick as always.

"Well, boys, there's no rush, is it? I don't think Zain can go anywhere right now so why are you in such a hurry?" He said, with sarcasm drowning each of his words like it was venom before he continued, "Anyways. Paul has informed me about Zain's condition." He made a pause to look at the skinny boy who was lying on an uncomfortable couch with his eyes barely opened, "which I find truly heartbreaking, don't you, guys? So I've been thinking really hard what to do with you, young boys"

"Oh please, just say it. I'm getting old waiting for you to go to the actual fucking point."

"I'm giving you a break. A short one, though. After you finish the PR you have left to do, which will be when this last leg of the tour ends, previous to the album's release, you'll be free until it comes out, in November. That's like six days or so. How does it sound?"

"Are you kidding? Because if you are, let me tell you, it's no fun at all" Harry spoke while Niall let out a laugh – none of them sure if of disbelief or amusement.

"I'm not joking, boys. I want you to rest and eat well during this free time because we are starting a tour in February and a new album in the meanwhile and I want you to be as ready for it as possible. I know you won't let me down, am I right, Zain?" He said, a mischievous smile creeping up his lips while looking at the kid, who could bare let out a weak 'yeah' before Simon contently left the room and five confused boys behind him.

"Think about it this way: we record the album, finish the tour, and that's it" Liam was the first one to break the silence, "once we do that, it's over, we are free to go on our own ways or to live comfortably enough for the rest of our lives. Doesn't sound that bad, does it? It's not gonna be the end of us"

"For me, it may be" Zain muttered, and even tho all of them heard him, they tried to ignore it. Sometimes it was better to think about it as an exaggeration rather than the absolute reality they were in.

Hii :) how are you liking the story so far? don't be afraid to comment 🥰