more meme!

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Am I doing this because I have no idea what to put in the next chapter even though it's a crack fic so it doesn't really matter and I feel sorta bad cause I haven't been on wattpad in a while no no I am not anyways enjoy

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Azreal (TOH) : Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.

Rei (TOH), slightly worried: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!

Azreal (BAK) : Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!!

Noelle (TOH) : Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.

Azreal (TOH) : If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

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Luz: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?

Hunter : Have everyone stand.

Rei (TOH): Bring three more chairs!

Noelle (TOH) : The most important ones can sit down.

Azreal (TOH), Shrugging her shoulders: Kill three.


Luz, Rei (TOH), Gus:...... WHAT!?

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Amity, walking into her house: Hello, people who do not live here.

Azreal (TOH) : Hey.

Gus: Hi.

Willow: Hello.

Luz: Hey!

Amity: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!

Hunter: We were out of Doritos.

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Store Worker: Would a Miss. Reiven please come to the front desk?

Rei (BAK), arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: points to Garnet and Roy

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Garnet and Roy, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Rei (Bak): I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

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Luz: Sometimes I get so caught up on being gay that I forget I'm actually bi.

Noelle, nodding: mood

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Weiss, talking about Azreal (TOH) : Apparently we’re getting someone new in the friend group.

Yang: Are we stealing them?

Blake: New or used?

Weiss, sarcastically : Wonderful responses, both of you.

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Rei (BAK), referring to her Noelle: Have you seen a person named 'Noelle' around here?

Mayuko: Ugh, yes. They made a horrible mess of the blood fountain.

Rei (BAK) : It looks fine to me?

Yuri: IT USED TO BE WATER!!!

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*The squad is over Azreal's (TOH) house*

Azreal (HRI) : Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?

Azreal (TOH) : ... N-No...

Azreal (TOH) , laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???

Azreal (HRI) , motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought!

Azreal (BAK) : I see a-

Azreal (TOH), motioning to one device: This is a microwave.

Azreal (BAK): Oh, well I-

Azreal (TOH) : Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*
Azreal (TOH) , amazed: Its got a bake setting!

Azreal (BAK) : Ohoho, you learn something new every day!

Azreal (RWBY) : Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?

Azreal (TOH) : Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!

Azreal (TOH) : I am someone who owns four ovens...

Azreal (TOH), louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS...

 
Azreal (TOH) : I didn't know I was so rich with ovens...

Azreal (HRI) , pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!

Azreal (TOH):.............

Azreal (BAK) : Ohhh, toasty girl! Four- Five ovens!

Azreal (TOH):...........

Azreal (TOH), fucking ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS


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Azreal (BAK) : If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death?

Azreal (TOH): How am I supposed to know?

Azreal (RWBY): You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult.


Azreal (TOH) : *sighs*
Azreal (TOH): You wouldn't be trapped.


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Bonus Prompt:

All of the Noelle's definitely: You seem familiar, have I threatened you before?

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