Silent night (Mituna x Kurloz)

Empty

As you walk in the dark, Your head subjects you to searing pain in the back of your mind. With it though, comes a numbing, and empty, emotionless pit, dulling the sting in your head to a faint throb. You want to cry, you want to sob, but, you can't seem to will your eyes to form the tears. So you walk in bitter silence, your arms draped over one another, fingernails scratching frantically at the sores that mask your frail, pitiful-looking arms. Your pace is unsteady, shaky even. Footsteps wavering in length and size, clumsily tripping over one another as you stumble towards your home. As the modest-sized home comes into your line of sight, you are relieved to see only a dim light escaping from the sitting room window, communicating that only Sollux is awake now. Hopefully he will ignore your presence as you open the wooden front entry way.

Shutting the door, you sink down onto it just a bit, catching yourself to stand up straight promptly, you can not collapse quite yet. Your eyes dart over to the younger male in the room, he is seen captivated by his computer screen as he always is. He glances up, making brief eye contact with you shortly before a dirty smirk graces his sleep deprived face.

"Someone's home late, now isn't he?" He cackles teasingly, making you shudder just slightly. "Have a fun night with Ampora?" He continues with a playful sneer. Your eyes widen slightly, to which Sollux definitely notices. "Ha! So Tuna finally got laid." He plays, only receiving an eyeroll from you.

"Fuck off." You reply dimly, trudging down the hallway, hearing mumbles about how you 'need to learn how to take a fucking joke'.

You slam your door closed behind you, soft enough not to wake your father, no need to involve him in your troubles. You walk past the mirror that stands just above your dresser, cringing at the sight you briefly see in your peripheral vision, causing you to stop and look a while longer. You turn towards the mirror, inspecting the reflection that looks back at you. Empty eyes is all that you are met with whilst looking into your reflection. You criticize your own appearance, pointing out everything that you perceive as a flaw. "It's no wonder why everyone hates me, look at this shit, fucking ugly is what this is." You mumble to yourself, your eyes drifting downward to your marked up neck. You let your hand wander up to the marks, lightly rubbing at them. You are his, only his, whether you like it or not, you are his.

You let out a small, pained laugh, backing up and falling onto your bed. "I'm a fucking joke. A stupid, fucking joke." You give out a breathless laugh at yourself. You can not seem to bring yourself to care. You lay there, eyes closed, you just want to sleep this numb pain away. Although, you know that it will just be there in the morning to taunt you and remind you that no matter how long you sleep, that you can't escape it's torture ever. "Maybe...Maybe it would be best if I did just kill myself... It's not like anyone has told me not to...The opposite really..." You mumble to yourself, falling asleep shortly thereafter.

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Monday eventually rolls around, you, pressing your feet onto the cold floors as you groggily get up. The weekend having been spent with you talking yourself in and out of suicide. The result coming up as; you can not bring yourself to live anymore, there is no point in putting up with this shit. You dress yourself, hearing your father yell at you from the kitchen that you are already late. Like you care. Pulling on a plain, long-sleeved shirt, you exit your dim room, walking down the hallway. The hickies that cover your neck have not faded at all, rather, they took on their full color by the second day and haven't faded any since. As you walk past the kitchen, you hear a gasp from behind you.

"Mituna Captor, what are those foul markings on your neck?!" You hear the astounded voice of your father. You shrug, continuing on with gathering your things.

"What do they fucking look like?" You roll your eyes, your voice as monotonous as ever.

"You...You are grounded for the rest of the month! And when you arrive home from school, you are going to tell me who you are sleeping around with and their parents are going to get a phone call from me." Your father retorts, red in the face, and seemingly enraged. You give him a thumbs up as you leave the house, you can't bring yourself to care enough to take anything seriously.

Shutting the door harshly behind you, you head off towards the school. You know that it would take a while to get there, you usually took your skateboard or got a ride. As you walk, you point out all of the means by which you could end your pitiful existence. You think something not too messy, seeing as that your father would just have to clean it up afterwards, making you even more of a nuisance. You look out at the intersection in front of you. You could walk out in front of a busy street. That would be efficient and quick, no clean up for your father to trudge through. Although, you wouldn't want to cause any trouble by possibly harming somebody's car in the process.

Despite that thought, you find your legs walking, walking into this busy, downtown street. Around you you hear panicked voices, telling you to clear the road before you get hit. However... it just does not phase you at all, you just keep on walking. Slowly, slowly walking, just hardly avoiding the cars that honk their horns at you. That is, until you pass a bus, as you just pass it, the only word to describe what you felt would be 'thunk'. Impact. Evidently, you have not seen that semi just beyond that bus, and neither had it seen you...