Fight me. I dare you. 1.5

Chapter Twenty-Two.

River, age seventeen

Five months later.

I'm losing my ever fucking mind. I hate this. I hate this. Winter is almost over, the snow is thick and covers everything. I'm pissed off, I'm cold and I need sex. But I won't risk hurting some poor soul just to strive off my need for sex. I don't want sex from my herd, I'm terrified of hurting them or worse.

So I'm walking, outside in the woods, in the dark. I feel eyes on me, great. Just great. "It's been a while, Elentiya." I let my eyes fall closed at Cernunnos's voice. The male or well God that helped me have my daughter.

"That it has. Cernunnos, God of Wild Things, Vegetation, Trees and Lust." I turn towards him, his face has a little bit of surprises on it.

"Ah. You figured out who I am." He smiles and steps towards me.

"You came for me because I carried a gods child, right?" I ask softly, I still carry the sadness and loss with me everyday.

Cernunnos blinks at me. "What? What are you talking about?" Confusion and shock line his face.

"You didn't know? I had sex with Aengus, the god of Youth, Love, Summer and Trickery. The daughter you helped me have, was his." My teeth shake, I do not want to talk about this but I need too.

"That's why they-" Cernunnos swears and turns away from me, I blink at him. He really didn't know. He turns back towards me with regret in his eyes. "I did not know. I am sorry if you thought I knew but I had no idea."

"I got that. You don't have a good poker face. Tell those other gods and goddesses to back the fuck off and leave me alone." I'm shaking as I step closer to Cernunnos. His eyes are wide as I tilt my chin up to meet his dark brown eyes. "I don't want their eyes on me, I can feel them watching me. Tell them to stop. I'm not an entertainment. I am not your toy that you get to watch. If any of you come near me again, I will find a way to kill a mother fucking god."

"Elentiya-"

"It's River. My name is River. You tell them to back off. I can't handle anymore of their bullshit. Next time one of them show their faces to me, I will kill them." I will not hesitate. Their lives will be forfeit.

"River. . ."

This will bite me in the ass later. If I live long enough. "I don't care if you watch me or check up on me but no others."

"Why?" He breathes, his eyes searching my face.

I smile softly. "Because of my daughter. The one you were there for. You helped me when I didn't want anyone to know about her. You were there are one of the hardest days of my life. You didn't judge me for hiding her. For not wanting the others to know." Tears slide my face as I press my hands to his face. "I will kill them if they come near me again. But because of Raya, you may watch me or check up on me."

I step away from him. "Please. River, do not do this."

"Cernunnos I'm tired. I'm tired of being watched, I'm tired of being an entertainment, I'm tired of being used." I back away and he lets me leave.

Five months later.

I fist my hands in my hair as I walk down the road. I can't keep doing this. I'm losing my mind! I've been able to keep everything together around my herd and kids but I can't. I can't keep doing this!

I can't lose control of the magic. I need to breathe. Deep breaths. In. Out. In. Hold it. Out. Hold it. In. Hold it. Out. Nope. Not working. Fire burns in my veins. Don't lose control. I can't let my magic out. Can't let my others out.