This Is What Hell Really Looks Like

↢Chapter I↣

The detective: "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand the rights I have just read to you? With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me?"

Unknown: "Yes ma'am."

***

"YO!" I yell out to a group of kids who just pushed me out of their way. What the heck is their problem? Whatever. I roll my eyes and check the time.

"Crap, I'm going to be late!" I say out loud to myself. I start booking it to the door, hoping I won't be too late for my therapy session.

Ever since the accident I've been having nightmares. Ones that feel real, like I'm reliving what happened. I haven't been wanting to fall asleep for the past week, for fear of the nightmare coming again.

With everything else on my plate, I kept putting off the appointment. I had to reschedule from last week because of work and school.

Dad and I were rear ended by a drunk driver while we were at a stoplight. The car spun around and slammed into another car killing dad instantly, I've been living with my brother ever since.

Mom is gone too, she died during childbirth with me.

When I sleep, Dad haunts my dreams. He's screaming at me to get out of the car before it explodes. I wake up sweaty and frightened each morning.

Not the best way to wake up if I'm going to be honest. It's only made worse when I go back to sleep and dream about Dad again. My therapist told me it was normal, but I didn't want to believe her.

I hit the buzzer and wait for the doors to open. I keep thinking about the accident, how fast it happened. I don't know why, but I feel as though I could have stopped him or something. I push the thought away.

As I turn the corner, I get this memory. The Ambulance, my hands pressed against dad's chest, trying to get his heart beating faster. I look down and see the blood pooling under my fingers, soaking them.
"No," I gasp. Tears begin to stream down my face. I shake my head, trying to clear it.

"Hey, hey, no need to cry. Everything will be okay." I hear a soft voice behind me. I look up to see a young woman with long brown hair.

"Come this way." She says walking towards a room.

I follow her inside and close the door behind me. The therapist sits across from me and takes her seat.
"So how are you feeling today?" She asks.

"I don't know..." I look down at my hands. "My dreams are freaking me out."

She nods her head and lays her hand on my knee.

"It's ok, you can tell me anything." She pulls out a pack of tissues and hands them to me.

I take one and blow my nose. When I'm done, I wipe my eyes and meet her gaze.

"I think I might be crazy," I say.
Her smile fades and she looks worried now.

"What do you mean?" She asks.
"Well, I had a nightmare earlier about the accident. I feel like I could have saved Dad, if I had tried harder," I say.

"Oh sweetie, no! You couldn't have. Your dad was a very strong man. He fought hard to stay here with us." Her words comfort me.

"But he wasn't supposed to die! That was never part of the plan!" I practically scream.

She puts her hand on top of mine.
"I know, I know, it's not your fault. I'm sure there is still a lot going on in your head right now. It's ok to talk about it. Let it all out," She says.
I nod and close my eyes.

"I can't seem to stop thinking about what happened. I keep replaying everything over and over."

"That's totally normal. I'd be willing to bet you're remembering every detail about the accident. Your brain is trying to process everything and put it together." She says.

I nod and take a deep breath. "We were supposed to live together forever."