Golden Greaser

- 16 -

   The icy, cold rain pounded on me as I walked back over to my side of the neighborhood. 

    It was intense, the rain. But I kept walking. Every step felt as if I was walking on clouds. Like I was floating through the skies of joy. 

   Well, actually, the thing is I didn't really walk. I might as well have told you I skipped back to the house because I was the giddy, grinning little teenage girl I had vowed to never become. 

   But he kissed me. 

   I still couldn't believe it. 

   I'm not sure I ever would. 

   My shoulders shook and my teeth chattered furiously in my mouth, overwhelmed by the frigid cold droplets and biting wind. 

   But I didn't care. It was worth it. I was finally feeling the sweet happiness I hadn't felt in what seemed to be an eternity. 

   He kissed me. 

   Darrel Curtis kissed me. 

   The echoes of his deep whisper replayed over and over in my mind. 

   "You're all I ever think about." 

    Truth was, he was all I ever thought about too. 

     But for some reason I found myself unable to form words when I stood before him in that moment, my lips inches from his own.  

    The rain slacked up as I walked to the street corner, stopping at the edge and letting my eyes drift to the darkened windows of my house. 

    A pang of sadness hit me as I stared, the veil of rain receding to reveal it fully. 

   I was so tired of the grief every time I came home. Really, it wasn't home anymore. It was just a house. 

    Home was with dad. And dad was gone. 

    Home was listening to the radio while we played endless games of cards on Friday nights. Home was waking up every morning to the smell of eggs and toast. Home was listening to dad yell at the television on Saturday while Tulsa played Kansas City. Home was making fun of each other's outfits before going to church every Sunday, then saying how good we looked once we got there. 

    Home was gone. Silent, and void of all memories. 

    I was shivering uncontrollably now, and I needed to go somewhere. It was either freeze to death out here or brave the house, and I decided that I might as well do the latter. 

   I almost tripped over the steps as I plodded onto the front porch, digging into my soaked jean pockets with numbing fingers for the house key. 

   Shoving it into the lock and turning, I pushed it open and closed it behind me in one fluid motion. 

   I ran my fingers down the wall, desperately searching for the light switch that would turn on the kitchen lights. Once I found it, I pulled off my water logged boots and threw them in the sink, hoping they dried by morning. 

   Quickly, I took a shower and ran to my room.

   Throwing on my pajamas, I fall into the folds of my sheets like a drunk princess. A long sigh of satisfaction and contempt escapes my lips, and I swear I've never smiled so much in my entire life. 

   After a few minutes I sit up, reaching over to turn off the lamp on my nightstand and to check the time. 10:58.

   I don't think I could sleep. 

   My mind was too alive with the replays of tonight, dancing with detail and laughing with a joy that was beyond explainable. 

   But that didn't last too long, because as I whimsically stared out the moonlit curtains, I soon found my eyes becoming heavier and heavier...

   And although only for a moment in my dreams, the weight of the world was lifted too.