After Death

Chapter 12 (I don't wanna be here)

Chapter 12: I don't wanna be here

Ethan Warren

May 2023

One year after outbreak

Loveland, Nebraska

Season 2

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We let the sunset over us as we were still inside the walls. I wasn't used to being able to sit down without having to worry about the dead. There were babies here, children, and elders. They were weak but at least they were happy.

I saw Edin, Rudi, Ash, and Khai talking to some of the kids. They were laughing. I knew I wouldn't be able to bring myself to take this away from them.

This would be a good place for Juna to grow up in. It would be a good place for all of us to grow up in.

Catherine let me read what my family said in the interviews. It made me confident in what most of them said. But Leah's worried me. I know she isn't exactly my biggest fan but her attitude could get us kicked out. I couldn't afford that. We couldn't.

"Leah," I said as I sat down at the table she was sitting at. She started to stand up but I held her shoulder gently. She probably didn't want me to touch her but this was important.

"I read what you said." She didn't respond, I didn't expect her to. "I know why you feel that way and I am genuinely sorry that you do."

"You're sorry?" she looked angry now. "How can you be sorry? My sister is dead because of you! You couldn't keep us safe and I'm apparently the only one who can see that you never will. All of those other people would get themselves killed for you and they have. How many people have to die for you to open your fucking eyes! Do you know that Camila wants to leave because she's afraid of you? I bet you didn't because all you care about is yourself. This group is falling apart and it's all because of you."

I didn't know what to say but her words made me mad. Amy's death wasn't my fault. I knew it wasn't. I felt bad for Camila, but it's not like she ever told me anything. She doesn't talk.

"Amy isn't dead because of me, Leah. She's dead because safety doesn't exist. We're never safe. Not even behind these walls. I'm not trying to be the leader and you can leave whenever you want, after all, you got nothing tying you down anymore."

"Go to hell, Ethan," she said as she walked away. I was glad she chose to leave, I had nothing more to say and I feared that if I did, it would just be something I'd regret.