Lay It All On Me [H.S]

10.

"You're looking exceptionally pleased with yourself today."

I flashed my eyes up to Clare, giving her a cheeky grin as I settled myself into my chair beside her.

"How are you feeling today?" she asked casually.

I grinned at her sheepishly.

"Jeez, did you get laid or something?"

I teased her with a smirk, laughing alongside Rachel, who was one of our nurses.

She had started to work on my arm to prep me for another week of chemotherapy, and it had been two weeks since I last saw Harry.

I had come to the conclusion that I was doing well so far regarding him and our last conversation back in London, but now as I sat here next to Clare, I noticed a magazine spreadsheet laid out on the table in front of my chair... and he was all over it.

That was the reason why I was grinning like an absolute dickhead.

"I'm feeling okay, thanks. How are you feeling?" I asked her, just as Rachel apologised because I was wincing at the needle going into my arm.

"I could be better," Clare yawned, and I stared at her, watching her hand stroke her bump; "Not a good day today, babes."

"Oh, I'm sorry." I said, giving her a soft smile; "Is there anything that I can do?"

Clare shook her head; "Besides carry my baby for me? Nothing, darling."

I smiled, just as she took my hand in hers.

"Listen, I was meaning to talk to you about that," Clare suddenly whispered, "Have you thought about... you know, your future?"

"How'd you mean?" I asked, frowning at her.

"You know... children?" Clare said, "Because I know that you're only 21, but the thing is I wouldn't want you to get infertile because of the chemo and radiation, and then when you are older and want children, and you can't-"

"I haven't really thought about it." I cut across her, "It wasn't something that was ever on my agenda..."

"Isabelle, please." Clare gently pleaded with me, "Don't go through the hell that I did. Please listen to me, you may not want children now... but in ten years you may."

"I may not be around in ten years." I bluntly responded, which made Clare recoil in shock.

"You say that, and it may be true, but what if you are and you change your mind? Just please ask the doctor about freezing your eggs."

"What do you mean 'go through the hell that I did'?" I questioned, frowning slightly at her.

"Alex and I, we wanted children... but it was never offered to us for me to freeze my eggs before chemotherapy, so we were none the wiser. This is my third time battling this sickening disease Isabelle, and I got pregnant because we used an egg donor. It's not what I pictured myself ever doing, but if it gives me the chance to be a mummy and to give Alex the chance to be a father, then I had no choice but to take it."

"Woah." I exhaled, "So your baby, isn't technically... yours?"

I felt pig-ignorant the second my question came out of my mouth, but I couldn't help myself either.

Clare swallowed, "It's mine. It just hasn't got my DNA, but it's a part of Alex, and I love this baby more than life itself."

"I'm sorry Clare, I didn't mean it like that." I said softly, "You're... amazing. So selfless. You'll make an incredible mummy; your baby is very lucky."