Whole, Part 2 (a Mass Effect fanfiction)

Just Human

Traynor was waiting when Shepard and EDI finished their conversation. "The call to Admiral Hackett went through, Commander. He's available on vidcomm."

"Thank you." Shepard nodded at both of them and hurried through the War Room to the vid chamber, smiling as she saw Anderson's wavery blue form. Someday she would see him in person again, and it would be strange that he wasn't blue. "Did you get my report, Admiral?"

"I did. I wasn't in favor of your diversion to Sanctuary—too many unknowns—but I was wrong. The Cerberus lab you raided a while back hinted at something big, but we never expected this." He shook his head. Even blue and surrounded by static, Shepard could see how much older he looked suddenly. "All those refugees, all that ... slaughter. Just to study indoctrination." Hackett sighed. "I wish we'd known sooner, could have stopped them."

"It needed to be shut down," Shepard agreed. "What they learned about the Reapers wasn't worth all those lives. If only we could have done it months ago."

"You couldn't be everywhere, Shepard. You're right—the cost was too high. But we have the intel now, and it can be useful. What about the Illusive Man? Do we have a location on him?"

Shepard nodded. "We had a tracer on Kai Leng when he reported back. We're tracking it now."

"Good. That gives us a fighting chance to take Cerberus out of the war once and for all."

"Agreed. We need to end Cerberus and focus on the Reapers."

"My thoughts exactly. Hackett out." And he was gone, leaving Shepard to focus on the one thing her thoughts kept drawing her to, which wasn't Cerberus, and wasn't the Reapers. It was Kai Leng, and her revenge on him. For Thane, for Thessia, for herself.

Garrus was waiting for her when she exited the War Room. "Come on."

"Where are we going?"

"You're getting something to eat. I know better than to expect you to get any sleep, but I can at least make sure you're not starving yourself."

"Oh, Garrus, I couldn't. Really, there's so much to do—"

He took her arm and pulled her to the elevator. "There's nothing to do but pace the cockpit and annoy Joker, and that's not going to get you there any faster. Now, you're coming downstairs and you're eating whatever crazy concoction Vega's putting together."

"Vega? Garrus, really, I—"

"Now, Shepard, he's a good kid and he wants to do something for his commander, so just let him already."

Shepard stopped trying to argue. She should have known better than to try it on Garrus, anyway. He was the most stubborn turian she'd ever met, and she told him so, even as she let him march her into the elevator.

He chuckled. "It's one of the most attractive turian traits."

"Yeah? I haven't seen it get you a lot of dates."

"Maybe you haven't been watching." His eyes twinkled at her. "Seriously, though, Shepard, what we saw down there ... a lot of turians went to Sanctuary. When I meet the Illusive Man, I'm going to carve their names in his skull."

"Be my guest."

"Deos he really think he can control the Reapers, even after all that? I mean, husks are one thing, but a whole fleet? The man is insane."

"He's indoctrinated. I bet the Reapers gave him the idea for some reason of their own." Shepard shook her head. "He was a genius once, but now ... he's just their puppet."

The elevator doors slid open in front of them, and she immediately smelled something heavenly. Her stomach rumbled loudly, and Garrus laughed.

"You can thank me later."

Shepard frowned at him, the arrogant ass, noticing too late that the elevator doors slid closed again with Garrus still on it. She wondered where he was going.

"Hey, Lola." Vega grinned at her from the stove.

"James. What's that I smell?"

"My abuela's flautas and some fried frijoles. Put some meat on your bones. I mean, uh, not that you need it."

Shepard smiled. "Thanks. I think. It smells great."

"Well, let me dish you up a plate." He brought the plate to the table, with a glass of water. "I don't mind saying, Lola, I can't wait to take the fight to the Illusive Man."

"You're not alone." Shepard took a first careful bite, then dug in with gusto. Vega had missed his calling—he should have been a chef.

Vega brought over his own plate and sat down across from her. "I wonder what he's thinking now? The Illusive Man, I mean. You just know he has a plan."

"I'm not so sure anymore. He used to have a plan, but now ..." She shook her head. "He's not the man he used to be."

They ate in silence until Shepard noticed that Vega's fork was resting on his plate and he was looking at her as though he wanted to speak but was afraid to.

"Out with it, James, whatever it is."

"It's just ... about Thessia. For what it's worth, I know what it's like to lose like that. I know that doesn't make it easier, but ... you're just human, like the rest of us."

"You're right. That doesn't make it easier."

"Everyone on this ship knows you did all you could, Commander. You need to cut yourself some slack. Whatever it takes to get that data back from Cerberus, you know we're all behind you. Whatever it takes to end this," he added grimly.

"Noted." She wasn't sure she wanted to talk about this. She just wanted to get there, and get this over with. "Thanks, James."

"Anytime, Lola."

She pushed herself up from the table and left him there, no longer hungry or interested in talking. Alone, she let herself into life support, where Thane's tea cup still sat on the table. She sat down, reaching her hands across the table in the old way, drawing on all the tricks in her memory to bring him to life again.

"With the help of Amonkira, Lord of Hunters, I will catch Kai Leng this time, and I will end him. I promise," she whispered.

But in the back of her mind lurked the stark reality that Kai Leng had beaten her again and again and again, and she was nowhere near certain that she actually could catch him, or end him.