The sleeping adeptus // Xiao x reader

Feelings | 28

"I'm guessing you're tired?" You heard a voice call out to you as your eyes shot open. For a moment you thought you were back in a dream, surrounded by things you didn't know. As your eyes adjusted, you saw Xiao, realizing you just woke up from your nap. Looking out the window, you saw the darkness of the night. "Yea, just really exhausted.." you replied, placing your hand on your neck as you smiled at him with tilted brows. There was such a gently atmosphere when he was near you, it was nothing like when you first woke up. You liked the feeling of not having to worry about him being mad at you, it felt like you could enjoy Xiao for who he was instead of pushing him away. Glancing his eyes down at your torso, he noticed the bloody bandages. "Let me get you new bandage wrapping." He offered, his harsh voice quiet as he tried to sound soft.

Watching Xiao turn his back to you, you sucked in air as you felt the panic raise in your heart. You were fearing the worse, that you would miss his presence in that short time, or even be glad it was gone. You were so confused with your emotions, you grabbed onto his wrist gently as he stopped in his tracks. Feeling shy as he slightly rotated his head to peek back at you, you felt your hand loosen its grip. "Please stay for a little... just a little.." you begged, your voice quiet. You could see the light pink tint in his cheeks as he turned his head away from you, breaking the eye contact. Letting go of his hand, you hugged your knees as he sat down on the plush bed next to you. There was an awkward silence for a moment, feeling your face heat up as you didn't know how to start a conversation all of the sudden. "I'm sorry for never responding to you that day, and the days after that." He spoke out, you turning your head to him in confusion. Side eyeing you, he could barely keep eye contact as he quickly looked away, crossing his arms. "You shouldn't be in love with a yaksha, you'll get trapped."  He said, finally understanding what he meant. Your eyes lighting up as you were glad he was finally bringing up this topic, your brows furrowed with seriousness. "Xiao you are not a burden, you are so much more. You have gentle and caring energy, even after all these years of putting up a tough front you're still sweet hearted." You tell him, placing your hand on his arm gently.

You watched as he slowly looked your way, as you really saw how vulnerable he was. He wasn't crying, but you could just see in his face that if he was capable of doing such a thing he would. "I do not have a response for you... at least I'm not ready to give one yet." Smiling, you felt the coldness in your heart. It was hurting to hear, and to know that your fear still lingers, but you cared for Xiao. "You could take centuries to respond, and I will still wait." You tell him as he takes a moment to let that register. Huffing out a breathe, you could see him relax. You stare at his eyes as he refused to look at you, turning his body as you pressed your lips into a thin line. "I know it's hurting you, you don't have to lie about it." He said, holding his arms out. Biting your lip, you try to hold back tears as you wrap your arms around Xiao's waist, sinking into his chest as you tighten your grip. You two sit there like that for a moment, just sitting there as you hugged each other. This was the first time Xiao has actually been able to comfort you, and it felt weird for him. He didn't know if he was doing it right, or when he should stop. Feeling your damp bandages he sighed, "now please, let me rebandage you." He asked in a light tone, as you laughed for what felt like the first time in ages. "Okay" you let go of him, as you felt his hands drag against your arms as you pulled yourself away from him, his touch screaming 'don't leave'. Xiao then lifted himself off the bed, vanishing away as he went to retrieve new bandages.

You let realization settle in as you felt your cheeks heat up. Taking deep breaths, you calmed yourself, knowing Xiao could be back any moment. He doesn't want to tell you feel yet, but you can tell that he acknowledges your own feelings, and that made you want to start crying. Did this mean that he'll be nicer to you? Whether or not, you could still tell this is an improvement. Looking around at the room that you once resided in, you noticed a familiar green charm laying on the night stand. It was the one you had gave Xiao, all those months ago. He wasn't holding onto it? You shook your head, remembering that it was probably a fake anyways. There was no adeptal energy coming from it, and it couldn't have been anything else since of the design being from Liyue. You noticed how there was black spots in the gem, not being able to remember if they were there before.

Before you could think too much into it, you hear the sound of wind, as your hair slightly moved. Turning around, you see Xiao standing with bandages in his hands. "I'm not really use to this, so you'll have to excuse me if I'm bad." He apologized, you laughing in response. Setting down the supplies, Xiao gently sat down at the edge of the bed, using scissors to cut the old wrapping. He tried his hardest too not touch your wound, noticing how you would winch from the cold metal. Seeing the wound, you narrowed your eyes in accepting disappointment. "Why is it still this bad? It's been months since that man cut me." Seeing the deep red of inside the cut, looking at the redness around the ripped flesh that showed purple and black around the areas that couldn't regenerate. "The man who attacked you is a vessel from inazuma. He has the ability to use god like powers, although they aren't as strong as an actual archon like the shogunate." He explained, continuing as he gently cleaned your wound, you biting your lip in pain. "He's probably not letting your body heal naturally, meaning for this to get better, you'll need to restore your energy again." Sighing, you look at him in defeat. Did you really have to train all over again? You could barely stand doing all that work. "So all my energy is just gone?"

Shaking his head, Xiao opened his mouth, "not in the way you think. It's just your power. This time you won't need to train your body, just your mind."  Grabbing the new wrap, Xiao snaked his hands around your waist, roughly pulling the harsh material before wrapping it around you. Training your mind was a lot easier than it sounds, since you had already done it many years ago when first serving for Morax. Biting your lip, you remember how some of your memories where in bits and pieces. Looking at Xiao, you noticed how he caught your glance, making eye contact with you as a way to ask what's wrong. Slowly opening your mouth to speak, nothing comes out as the shyness takes over your throat. The silence fills the room for a moment before Xiao stops what he's doing, snapping you out of it. "Xiao, I... can't really remember anything.. I mean, I remember big events of Liyue, but not of my own life.." you finally spoke, his expression reading shock and worry. Registering what you had just said, Xiao put the wrapping tape down. "Not all of us have good memory like Rex Lapis, I'm sure it's nothing too serious. Plus, maybe you can get something back from training your mind." He stated. You pressed your lip into a thin line, feeling as his reasoning was more or so avoiding the question. You ignored it, knowing Xiao doesn't always know what to say. But still,

Why aren't your memories important?

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