✩ SIT DOWN BESIDE ME ﹒ ʲᵒⁿᵃᵗʰᵃⁿ ᶜʳᵃⁿᵉ ˣ ʳᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ

─ chapter v ; expected, not desired

y/n had found out, in the light of the recently risen sun that the room she'd been locked in was the master bedroom of the house. it wasn't big by any means, but it had its own half bathroom as well as a rather spacious (and empty) closet.

with the drapes pushed to the side, the light outside gave the room a dull glow. y/n tried once more to open the window, but just like before, it wouldn't budge. outside, y/n saw woods sprawling out so far she couldn't see anything past them. hinted hues of orange and brown in the leaves which had already begun to fall, welcomed the autumn season to set in.

she began to search the room, every inch and every corner, to see if by some chance dr. crane had missed something; an unlocked window, a forgotten piece of clothing, anything.

the walls were bare, stripped of any semblance that the room belonged to someone. not even a clock for y/n to listen to as it ticked away the time. the only things in there were the bed, a barren nightstand, and herself.

when she was done, explored all of what little there was to see, sat on the floor. wrestled with the new found certainty that she would not be able to leave this room any way other than through the door.

a band of tension sunk into her skull, the physical culmination of all the thoughts running through her mind pounding. her face flushed with warmth as she squeezed her eyes closed. this can't be it, there has to be something.

hadn't enough time passed? shouldn't it be time to leave?

opening her eyes once more, she was met with a blur of the room's dull colors. it all came back into focus as the tears fell, uncontrollably.

no control, y/n was stuck here. trapped, truly. futilely, she picked her head up to scan the room once more. couldn't see nor think of any way to get herself out of here.

the only thing there was to do was sit on the floor (still boycotting the bed, in spite of the numbness spreading in her legs and ass from sitting on the hardwood for so long) and brood over what she'd done to get herself here.

y/n's eyes stared unwavering at the light brown, almost gray wall ahead of her, but she didn't see it. she saw dr. crane, back at the asylum. her memory desperately cycling through every interaction she could possibly remember having with him. searching, searching for where the groundwork, the precursor to this kidnapping could possibly have shown itself. what she should've noticed.

y/n expected her memory to show her a red flag that she'd missed. something creepy dr. crane had said or done. something she could tell herself she was stupid for failing to realize. something to blame. but all she recalled were instances of dr. crane being nothing but cordial and professional.

failing to find her kidnapping's foreshadowing in her memories, she resorted to cursing him over and over in her mind.

and only after running through the large yet still finite catalogue of demeaning things she could say about him, did she come to another conclusion—why hadn't you quit from the asylum sooner?

this was the only conclusion that gave y/n a place to put her blame, and her mind clung to it.

it wasn't the job she'd wanted in the first place. she knew during the interview that she would find no satisfaction in doing work there, and had agreed with herself that it was only temporary, that any job was better than no job.

each day she worked there she'd gotten more reason to regret applying. the building was hectic, down to the way they operated. and every shift y/n was just watching herself do her tasks, as if it were all on a screen.

as much as she'd tried, arkham simply wasn't a good fit for her. leaving had taken a weight off of her back. why hadn't she just fucking quit sooner?

click, creak.

the gray-brown wall reappeared in front of her through a veil of tears and memories that'd welled up in her eyes. they distorted dr. crane's figure as she turned her attention to him, standing in the doorway.

crying on the floor, a pathetic sight for him to walk in to, y/n figured. something she suspected he wanted to see. weakness. and as much as she wanted to conceal it, show him he hadn't gotten what he wanted from her, the tears couldn't be staunched.

he placed the plate he was holding on the nightstand. his full attention on her. this is what he'd been expecting to see. crying on the floor, she was miserable; the expected reaction, but not the one he desired.

"i brought you lunch, figured you'd want it by now. you always had your lunch break around noon."

though she'd been trying to avoid looking at him, at his statement she couldn't help but stare up at him.

the distain in her glare, pierced and tore right through him. expected, but not desired.

he noted her refusal to speak to him, and though he didn't want to leave her, leave her to sulk alone, he knew it was best for the time being.

he could make her love him. he knew the discomfort she must have been feeling. but if she'd just let him in, stop turning her back to their connection, he could make it all better. everything. he'd done all of this for the two of them, after all.

"i'll leave it here, for when you want it." he said, his voice flat, somehow toneless. he'd put the plate together for her, so that she'd know he wanted to take care of her, not leave her to rot alone. he needed y/n to know that this wasn't done out of hatred.

"no."

jonathan stared down at her, and then at the plate. fine, have it your way.

"as you wish."

he took the plate with him to the door, looking in at her as he began to shut it.

it didn't close. the plate dropped from jonathan's hands and shattered on the floor, replaced by y/n's arms in his tight, unrelenting grip. having the door ajar for so long had been a bit of a risk, hadn't it? but y/n's attempt at barreling past him wasn't quick enough for her to even breech the threshold of the door.

indifference tinged with anger in his expression stung, being under his gaze was intense. he kept his hold on y/n's arms and stared at her for what could have been a straight minute, she half-expected a smack, a yell, some expression of his displeasure with her actions. but nothing came.

he took a step forward, still gripping her arms tight, forcing her to step backwards into the room. relinquishing his grip, he swiftly stepped out of the room and swung the door closed behind him, the click of the lock following.

the imprint on her nerves of his hands around her arms remained, simmering like an extra reminder of her situation, stuck here at his mercy. the tears didn't stop rolling down her face, and she returned to her spot beside the bed, in front of the wall.

before y/n could sink back into her thoughts, she noticed the shadow outside the door, the sound of glass being picked up, later the sound of shards and pieces of now spoiled food hitting the bottom of a plastic bag, and finally a broom sweeping against the floorboards. then, nothing.

the gray-brown wall was all she saw until night fell, and the room turned vague gray once again. the room was still essentially empty, the door was still locked and impenetrable, and the window was still stuck shut.

christ, was this the end of life as y/n knew it?