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Derek Hale was a man of many regrets

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Derek Hale was a man of many regrets.

Considering the life he had led and the person he had been forced to become after the fire, it was inevitable.

As he poured ice into the tub, Derek wondered if it was worth it.

Everything he had done to become an alpha, and everything he had left behind to come back to the disaster zone that was Beacon Hills, was it worth it? Was it worth leaving his new life in New York? Leaving the people who were his new family? Leaving her?

It wasn't supposed to be like this. He was the second born. Laura was the future of the Hale pack. Laura disappearing was the only thing that could've brought him back to this hellhole, and Laura's death was the catalyst that led him down a path of destruction.

Turning those kids... he had to. He has no choice.

Or at least that's what he told himself. That's the only way he had been able to sleep at night for the last few months looking for Boyd and Erica.

It was his fault they were missing, why their parents were grieving them.

"Obviously, it's not going to be particularly... comfortable," Deaton explained, snapping Derek out of his thought spiral. "But, if we can slow your heart rate down enough, you'll slip into a trance-like state."

"Like being hypnotized," said Issac.

Scratch that. He never should have turned them. This was a mistake. 

They deserved better than his pathetic excuse of an alpha.

"Exactly. You'll be half-transformed. It'll let us access your subconscious mind."

"How slow does his heart rate need to be?" asked Scott.

Damn you Peter, he thought. Laura would still be alive and none of them would've been here if it weren't for him.

"Very slow."

"Okay, well, how slow is very slow?"

"Nearly dead."

Bad ideas all around.

It was ideas like these that made him wish she was here. She was his voice of reason, and he was hers.

"It's safe though, right?"

"Do you want me to answer honestly?" asked Deaton, raising an eyebrow.

"No. No, not really," sighed Isaac.

The twip of latex pulled everyone's attention to Stiles and his rubber glove.

Derek glared at him using what was once dubbed a classic Derek look by many members of his new family.

A family that he had lost contact with the last nine months.

Another thing that was his fault. He should have tried harder.

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