scarred wings (l.s.)

twenty-one

“Louis”, Harry shouts from the bathroom, stomping into my room with loud noise.

I laugh, turning around in bed again. It’s the last Friday before summer break finally starts.

I'm used to being woken up by Harry by now. He wakes up super early every morning and is not exactly trying not to wake me up once he’s showered.

“I don’t have any clothes”, he says, showing up in my doorstep, towel wrapped around his waist.

I laugh quietly. There’s a few water drops rolling down his chest, over the birds and the butterfly and I can’t help but stare. He looks a little beautiful.

“Louis?”, Harry asks, putting a hand onto his hip and looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

He laughs and rolls his eyes. “I wanna go shopping, please. And you are supposed to come with me.”

I nod. “Will do.”

He laughs again, bringing the feeling in my tummy back. “Okay. Today? I got enough money by now.”

I nod while yawning. It’s still way too early. Then again, I don’t really mind him being the first thing I see in the morning, all happy.

His wet hair is sticking to his forehead and drops of water fall down onto his shoulder regularly. I think I’d like to wipe them away carefully.

“Perfect.” He smiles happily.

“You can come pick me up at uni? I finish at two and we can get lunch together, maybe.”

He shrugs. Thinks about it for some time, then nods. “Okay. Yeah, we can do that. You’ll wait for me at the gate?”

I nod. He takes a step into my room, pointing to my closet. “Can I borrow clothes, one more time? Sorry.”

I roll my eyes, nod and try to sit up at least a little bit. “Yes, Harry. Take the fucking clothes and stop saying sorry.”

He smiles at that a little bit and turns to walk to my closet. I stare at his back for some time, at his smooth, light skin and the muscles showing when he bends down to grab a shirt. Fuck.

“Alright”, I quickly say, more to myself and tear my gaze away from him, “I will have some breakfast now.”

I stopped going to the bakery every morning. Casey already complained that her favourite customer is gone now. She’s happy she has Harry, though. It’s just that I enjoy being home, recently. It feels good when there’s someone around.

I always thought I’d like to live by myself once I move out, getting away from family for once and having space for myself for the first time in ages. Turns out I don’t really enjoy it.

Harry comes walking into the kitchen just a few minutes later and sits down on his chair with a smile, pointing to the coffee machine with a smile. “Make me one too, will you?”

I roll my eyes. “Everything for you.” It doesn’t come across as ironic as I wanted it to sound. Maybe because I meant it.

“Thanks, baby.” He does sound ironic for sure but when I’m looking at him, it’s almost as if he blushes a bit.

We drink our coffee in silence and I keep staring into my cup while stirring the liquid I’m a regular motion. I feel like I’ll need to talk to my friends about this. About how it would feel like. So I know if this is what I think it could be.

~~~

“Okay”, I say, once I sat down next to Gigi, Maya and Liam while we all have break at the same time, “Since none of your partner’s are here today anyways, it won’t get embarrassing when I ask you to describe how it feels like to fall in love.”

“Louis”, Gigi shouts, dragging out my name, “Why do you want to know that?”

I shrug. “Um.” There’s an awkward pause in between. “For science. Just doing some research, you know?”

They all laugh and I cross my arms in front of my chest and roll my eyes in a defeated manner. “Just tell me for fucks sake.”

“Aw”, Maya says, “Lou baby is in love, huh?”

I scoff. “Fuck you all. I’ll just go back inside then.”

“No”, Gigi says and rolls her eyes, “Just, give us some information and you’ll get some in exchange, you know?”

“Don’t laugh at me.”

They all roll their eyes again. It’s not like I wouldn’t trust them. I just didn’t forget what Zayn said about Harry and how Maya was so sceptical. It did hurt me a little.

“Okay. I told you about Harry?”

They all nod and Liam’s eyes go wide. “Okay, now this is what I want to hear.”

I laugh quietly and shrug at the same time. “Nothing much to tell you. I’ve just never been in love before. So I don’t know what it would feel like. If this is what it would feel like.”

Maya grins at me as if she just found out she’d be going to Disneyland next week. “Honestly, Louis, if you’re already thinking about it, it’s probably too late. I mean, if you’re feeling things you’ve never felt before and it’s not extreme hate or it’ll turn out you two are twins separated by birth and have some extreme connection, it’s probably falling in love.”

I try to take in what she just said in the past three seconds and nod slowly. “I don’t think we’re twins. He’s two years younger than me.”

Liam laughs. “I think if you’re having butterflies when you look at him, have the constant need to be close to him, mostly physically but also emotionally, if you feel like trusting him with everything, touching him and I don’t only mean sexually, then you’re probably in love. Or have a crush at him at least.”

I take my time to think about it. Think that this feeling in my tummy is probably what’s described as butterflies. Think that all those things Liam mentioned pretty much fit.

“Okay”, is all I say.

And as we walk back to our lectures a few minutes later, all I can think about is Harry.

Harry, who got my feelings tattooed on his chest.

~~~

would he say he's in l-o-v-e?🎶

hope you liked it, was a bit boring but next one will be more exciting I suppose:)