Dissonance and Resolution

Measure 4: Sauerkraut

"Reeeee, do." Shawn looks up at me for confirmation that he did well. I smile and give it to him.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but two weeks ago I caught Shawn actually practicing his sight reading outside of sixth period, and he's getting better by the day now. It's been a month since he started off knowing absolutely nothing. I think he's ready to move on to something harder.

I walk over to the big cabinet in the back of the classroom and pull out a singular paper sheet. I look at Shawn like it's a treasure map, and he looks back at me like Scooby Doo. Following my little dance in my one pair of shoes, I take a seat next to him and place the sheet down in front of the others on the sheet music stand. "What is this?" He takes it immediately and gets a closer look.

"It's for two people. I'm going to sight read a different part but at the same time as you."

"Oh, so like, harmonies? And stuff?"

"You could say that." And it's true. But there's a little surprise he's in for. I remember the first time I did this exercise, I couldn't believe my ears. I can't wait to see the look on his face. "Okay, let's start. Here's your scale."

I'm really proud of Shawn. He's improved so much since we started, and he does his scale and arpeggio like it's nobody's business. "And here's your study time. Thirty seconds."

"Um, no, I'm a pro now. I've got this." He says, half-jokingly. I raise an eyebrow. He doesn't know what's coming.

"Alright, if you say so." I walk back from the piano to our seats and count us off. "1, 2, ready, and-"

So the first half goes really well, and at this point in his development, I'm not surprised but I am satisfied. He's worked really hard. However, I am in fact anticipating what's about to come in measure 6.

Measure 6 happens. Shawn is stopped dead in his tracks. I continue until the end while he stares at the page. "Um... did they write this wrong?"

"What do you mean?" I play dumb and take the paper off of the stand so he can get a closer look at it. He squints as he moves the music back and forth.

"Because it sounded good until..." he trails off and signals me to observe Measure 6. "It was weird. They did it wrong."

"Well, you didn't finish the exercise."

"What does that have to do with this one section?" His finger trails over what he missed.

"Um... let's just... do this whole thing again. Be careful not to do any wrong notes. I promise you won't forget it." I take the music from him and return it to the sheet, give him the starting pitches quickly, and we do it again.

This time, very slowly, we go through the exercise. He didn't get any of the measures wrong, which was kind of surprising but kind of not. I could tell from his tone of voice that he was a little nervous but mostly suspicious about how the exercise would end, and I was very pleased to see that he was amazed by the resolution on Measure 8. His eyes are sparkling. It's super cute.

"Ohhh! Now I see. Okay. So it started weird and then it finished good. Okay. Okay! I really like that." He bounces in his chair and fiddles with his fingers, happy for himself. "Very crunchy. Crunchy and good."

I snicker at how he described our sight-reading. "'Crunchy and good' is called dissonance. It's an acquired taste, I think. Like fish."

"You think fish is an acquired taste? Hell no. An acquired taste is like sauerkraut. This," he points to Measure 6. "Was like sauerkraut. Because when you taste it the first time it's bad. But then you eat it again and again and then it's good. That's how I feel."

"Not gonna lie... never had sauerkraut in my life."

"Well, it tastes like dissonance." This is the first time Shawn has made me laugh personally. And from the look on his face, I think he's pretty happy about it too.

"Holy shit, you're so stupid. You are dumb." I jokingly say as I wipe my fake laugh-tears. "Jokes aside... that was super good. You're totally on the right track."

"Thanks, bro." He crosses one leg over another. "Are there other songs with sauerkraut in them?"

Something clicks in me. Something nerdy and loser-ly and ready to spit out every single song I know that contains dissonance like I'm a contestant in a game-show and it's the final round. "Watch this. Watch this." I run over to the computer and put on Eric Whitacre's i carry your heart, and sing along with it for a little bit. I dance in place and conduct a little bit of the song (the time signature change is crazy so it's only for a few seconds). Shawn watches and smiles and even closes his eyes for a little bit to listen to the beauty of i carry your heart. This doesn't last very long, however, because he notices that I'm watching him and he makes fun of the singers in a satirical operatic manner. I laugh and run over to push him before running back to turn off the video.

"This sounds kind of weird but I think you're really talented." There's that word again. And I hate that my reaction is showing on my face. "...you okay?" He slaps the seat next to him and I sit.

"Yeah, it's just pretty weird hearing people say that."

"What, that you're talented? You can't take a compliment-"

"No, it's not that, it's just... I don't know. It makes me feel weird."

"Like, it makes it feel like you weren't working hard to get where you are now?"

Something else clicks in me. This time, instead of happiness it gives me a sense of indifferent relief. "Um... yeah. Kind of. Is that, like, bitchy?"

"Nope. At least, I don't think so. I bet a lot of people would, though, right?"

"Yeah." I feel like a balloon releasing its air. It's not a happy feeling but it's really relieving. I think it's because someone finally understands.

And who could've known it was going to be this guy?