Blind Faith

Chapter 2 • Utter Amazement

It's true. I didn't believe anyone when they told me that nothing compares to being a mum, that the indescribable love a mother has for her baby could be so overwhelming and fulfilling. I've found my purpose in life and it's to love, protect and raise my sons to be the best human beings they can be.

Right now as I gaze at the face of my sleeping firstborn son, using my hand to keep his tiny head from bobbing around in the car seat, I feel so many things that my emotions are all over the place. Half of my heart is with him and the other half is with Ev. I didn't want to leave him at the hospital all by himself, but I know he needs to stay in order to get strong enough to bring home.

I never knew I could feel this kind of love for a human being I've just met, but Eli and Ev are a part of me and Harry and I will love all three of them until my last breath.

"We're home, little one," Anne whispers, slowly bringing the car to a stop.

I look out the window and realize I've stared at my baby the entire car ride home from the hospital. The blue display at the door of the house piques my curiosity and I recognize what it is. Smiling to myself, I unbuckle my seatbelt and slowly slip my hand from beside Eli's head since we're not driving anymore.

He stirs as if it's in slow motion, making a squeaky sound that melts my heart and his binkie falls out of his mouth. Tears fill my eyes as I watch his little face scrunch up and he starts crying. His lips, that he has inherited from his father no doubt, and chin quiver and I blink away my tears, smiling at the fact that his gums are showing.

"I thought he'd be happy to come home," Harry says.

"Perhaps, but I think he misses his brother," I reply, gently easing the binkie back into his mouth and he stops crying. "There you go, my darling boy."

"Are we ready to go inside?" Anne asks and I hum in response, keeping my eyes on Eli. "Oh I'm chuffed beyond words. I get to bring one of my grandsons home. Today is a special day."

The sound of the car door shutting snaps me out of my trance and I look out my window to see Harry just standing there waiting for me and I come up with an idea. While Anne works at taking the car seat out, I grab the nappy bag and get out of the car.

"Hey, love, could you carry the nappy bag for me?"

He perks up, holding out his hand, "Yes, of course. Happy to help. Mind if I hold your hand while we walk?"

"Of course I don't mind, love," I smile at him as if he can see me and I link our fingers together. "Ready to go inside?"

"Mhm. Oh, and I forgot to tell you earlier, but I asked Gemma to make sure Maggie's in Mum's room when we get home."

"What? Why?"

"Just as a precaution. I don't know how she'll act around the baby; I mean what if she starts barking and scares Eli? Also, I didn't want it to feel chaotic when we got home. Remember in the baby books they suggested a quiet, calm atmosphere. I don't know. I just wanted to be careful and it was something I could do within my ability."

I gently squeeze his hand, "You're absolutely right, Harry. You're a caring and loving daddy. I couldn't have asked for a better father for my babies."

He shrugs a shoulder, "I'm doing what I can."

"And it's perfect. We're coming up to the porch now. Step. Step. There. I just realized something. Your mum already took Eli inside. She didn't wait for us to all walk in together?"

"She probably took him inside because it's cold and she didn't want to keep him out here waiting for us," Harry says and it's like the lightbulb goes off in my mind.