Enter Bernardo and Francisco.
Bernardo: Who's there?
Francisco: No u.
Bernardo: Long live the King!
Francisco: Bernardo?
Bernardo: Yup.
Francisco: You're right on time.
Bernardo: It's midnight. Go to bed, bro.
Francisco: Thanks dude, I'm freezing cold.
Bernardo: Is everything chill out here?
Francisco: Yup, it's quiet.
Bernardo: Night, fam. Tell Horatio and Marcellus to hurry up if you see them.
Enter Horatio and Marcellus.
Francisco: I think I see them. Ayo! Who's there?
Horatio: Just us bros.
Marcellus: Bros of the Dane.
Francisco: Night, fam.
Marcellus: See ya, fam. Who took your place?
Francisco: Bernardo. I'mma head out
Exit Francisco.
Marcellus: Wassup, Bernardo!
Bernardo: Sah, dude? You bring Horatio?
Horatio: A piece of him.
Bernardo: Welcome, my dudes.
Horatio: Has the ghost appeared?
Bernardo. Not yet.
Marcellus: Yea but Horatio doesn't believe in ghosts. So he's here to see the ghost.
Horatio: Y'all are capping. Ain't no such thing as ghosts.
Marcellus: Nah, dude, it's happened many times now! Listen to the story!
Bernardo: Aight so there I was and—
Enter Ghost.
Marcellus: Hey, he's pulling up!
Bernardo: It looks like the dead King!
Marcellus: Ayo, Horatio, you're smart. Talk to it.
Bernardo: It looks like Hamlet's daddy, right?
Horatio: Yeah dude. It's spooky.
Bernardo: I think it wants to chill with us.
Marcellus: Talk to it, Horatio.
Horatio: Ayo, whatchu doin' up so late? You look like Hammy's daddy in that armor. Speak up, bro!
Marcellus: I think you made him an angy boi.
Bernardo: He's dipping!
Horatio: Ayo! Don't ignore me!
Exit Ghost.
Marcellus: Aight, he dipped.
Bernardo: Horatio, you look like you shit yourself.
Horatio: I might have a little bit.
Marcellus: Doesn't it look like Hamlet's daddy?
Horatio: It looks like Hammy's daddy when he fought the Polish in the war.
Enter Ghost.
Horatio: Heyyyy wassup biiiitccchh!
Ghost: [moans]
Horatio: That's sum sus spooky shit right there.
Horatio: Finna tell my boy Hammy wassup.
YOU ARE READING
Hamlet: Gen Z Edition
HumorShakespeare's Hamlet written with Gen Z slang instead, because who understands Early Middle English? I hope this helps you understand (in a hilarious way) the wacky plot of a prince's uncle killing his dad then marrying his mom. This is Hamlet in a...
