I fell in love with him. It was hard and far, but he was the one heart I'd ever wanted.
We started with Group FaceTime calls and every now and again he flicked me a little looks in hope I'd never pick up on it, I did. I couldn't stop staring at him. I wanted every bit of him, I wanted my lips to lock with his, I wanted his eyes to never leave mine and I wanted his hands to caress my body.
My feelings disguised pretty well, at first, but soon after I couldn't take my eyes off of him. I found any excuse to talk to him, every morning, afternoon and night, I always told him my walk made me feel unsafe, I was never worried about feeling safe, but his voice made me feel so safe and calm. I never got bored of talking to him, he told horrendous jokes and I laughed anyways. One day, his son came into his care, I used that as an excuse to talk to him too, we bonded as parents, and in that his son became mine. My baby girl ended up with a brother before we even got together. Our kids FaceTimed every morning for the majority of time we were friends.
The day we got together, we spent a lot of that day talking, we sent loving messages back and forth and we were still unsure. I sent him a long message which stated:
Thank you for being the best parent your son can imagine, you've given me some hope for fathers that I didn't originally have ❤️. You are truly loved and appreciated in my life. Your company is cherished. Your smile lights up a room, your eyes twinkle when you smile, you are the most loving& caring man I know❤️ Thank you for being my emotional support system. Thank you for being the best friend. The person that makes me smile day in day out, thank you for showing me the type of father I want for my kids & thank you for being you. ❤️
I thought the feelings in this message were really obvious but for him they weren't, and reading back on it now his message showed a lot of love too, his message read: Thank you hope you and Ava have a brilliant day, you just give me so much motivation and I love you for that ❤️. We continued so many conversations that day we barely had space away, later that day I said to him, I told your brother something but you have to guess what that is, he said what is it and I wouldn't tell him, I'd told his brother not to tell him and he didn't until I told him it was okay, his brother told him and he simply messaged me back "I love you too❤️", on that night we spoke all night until we fell asleep, and we woke up still on the phone to each other.
Fast forward to us first meeting, my heart melted, he took on so many responsibilities with my cousins, he helped me look after them and sat and ate with them. We went to the hotel room with his little brother and we cuddled for ages his arms made me feel really safe, that weekend we met his dad, we watched films, we went on long walks, we did shopping trips and at the end we were mutually thinking this is what I want for my future.
To be continued
