Breathe

| chapter two

LOGAN BRADFORD | CHAPTER TWO

The skies were grey. An accumulation of clouds hovered over the large gathering of people. It didn't take a genius to put together that it was going to rain sooner or later, yet nobody cared at the moment. We were all here to pay our respects and send prayers to the family who had lost their daughter. It's as if the weather knew exactly how we were feeling.

With no desire to doll my hair, it was hitched into a ponytail, leaving no possible way for me to cower behind the chestnut strands. My facial features were now on full display to anyone who glanced my way. You could detect how unhealthy her death made me from a mile away. What you used to hazel eyes, were now just plain brown and filled with tears. I was thankful I wasn't wearing cosmetics.

Adorned on my body was a dress darker than the nighttime. The clothing contrasted with my skin greatly; dismal black on pasty, white skin. Scattered on the dress (and lightly on my skin) were sparkles. The outfit represented a starry night because heaven gained one more star; my dear best friend, Haven. She was an addition to the constellation of the evenings, which I spent looking out for the brightest ones and naming it after her.

I bet she wouldn't want me to be mourning over her death for so long, but I couldn't help it. She was basically a part of me, and now she was gone. The thought of never getting to hear her infectious laugh, that usually was followed by a nasally snort, was upsetting. The thought of never being able to confide all my deepest secrets with her caused an unpleasing nausea to settle in my stomach.

I sat front row in the graveyard, barely listening to the pastor say his words about her. Next to me was Jace-at least I still had him, and I was forever thankful for his presence. My eyes flittered around, scanning the crowd of people that came. Haven's parents, Amanda and Michael, were holding onto each other for comfort. Her mom's eyes, from what I could see, were stained with an overabundance of tears and she wasn't even done yet. Her dad hadn't shed a tear yet but I could tell he was just trying to be strong for his wife.

Amongst the people, I also noticed former classmates here to pay their respects. Of course, they didn't know her as well as I did but they still did know her. There were also some classmates that would have probably never bothered to talk to her in the four years we went to the high school that also showed up. I wasn't complaining or judging; this wasn't the time for that.

Jace's arm draped around my shoulder, pulling me in. He, much like Haven's dad, was trying so hard not to cry. I couldn't understand why he wasn't, but I hadn't the heart to say anything about it. Sighing, I just leaned into his comforting embrace. Without Haven, there was a weight heavy on our shoulders.

"We will now hear some words from Haven's best friend, Logan," I felt the breath being knocked out of me. When I had accepted Haven's parent's offer to speak at her funeral, I didn't realize how hard it would be until now. Untangling myself from Jace's embrace, I shakily ambled to the pastor. Now, I stood less than a foot away from my best friend's coffin.

My body trembled.

Heaving a deep breath, I had to say something.

"I didn't really prepare a speech, or whatever," I shakily began. I wondered how I was being perceived at the moment. Did they blame me for Haven's death as much as I did? Did they think I knew she planned to do this?

"There comes a time in a girl's life when you find someone that you can call your best friend. And, that's not as easy as it's said," I breathe, fiddling with my thumbs, "It's pretty hard to find someone that you can put all your trust in, but I did." Lifting my head from the view of the ground, I glanced at the crowd. They were all looking at me.

"Haven was, no doubt, the best thing that ever happened to me. I remember when we met, though it happened so long ago. She was such a lively person, always up and active. I could barely keep up with her," I let out a breathy laugh, reminiscing. My eyes landed on Jace, who had a tear sliding down his cheek. He sent me a weak smile, telling me to continue.

"Haven," I called, looking up at the grey skies, "I know you're up there, somewhere. I just want you to know," my voice faltered, a feeling of fresh tears being hoarded by the lids of my eyes, "I-I just want you to know that I will always love you and consider you my best friend. Even if you're not here, I will never forget you."

"You would've lived a happy life," I concluded; not for the reason that I ran out of things to say (because trust me, I didn't), but because I couldn't get myself to say anymore.

I trudged back to my seat; it was now Jace's turn. I struggled to listen to his words because hot, wet tears were sliding down my face and plopping onto my dress. A hand reached out to me, handing me a tissue. Glancing at the random stranger, I thanked them and took the cloth, wiping my face.

Jace was solemn, but spoke words of sincerity. "Though, she won't be here with us physically, I can't help but think she'll be watching over us. Rest in peace, Haven," he put a hand on his heart, and walked back over to his seat.

Around my neck, pressed against my chest, was a locket. I hadn't paid much attention to it since I hadn't taken it off since the day I got it. Haven got it for me. My hands subconsciously gripped the heart shaped jewel in my hand. Unsteadily, my fingers fidgeted to open the locket.

Once it was open, I let out an inaudible gasp. The picture inside brought so many memories. So many memories were held in this small photograph. The image was of Haven and I, sitting on her bed, and laughing. From the looks of it, we were laughing hard. Haven's mom loved to take candid pictures, scrapbooking was her hobby. This picture was a result of a rainy day, much like this one, where we were stuck inside. We made the best of it, though.

She was dead, but the memories were still very much alive.

[authors note]::tbh i really like this chapter idk man but there isn't a celebrity that really fits the image i want for logan, so i'm not really doing a cast list. anyways, yay its summer. which means hella more updates. dedication to my friend Brooklyn bc shes pretty rad.