THE SERAPHIC SEVEN: OUR ATARAXIA

WHEN I WAS A KID

When I was a kid, I used to constantly hear or read about quotes that said ‘Love Yourself'. And it quite mystified me as who doesn't right? Growing up, the scene was not quite the same. I realised people are scared. They're affrighted to embrace themselves and I wasn't any different. We as teenagers tend to have a lot of struggles nobody know about or that's how we portray it, ‘they don't understand'.

As a growing child, society expects. Expectations aren't really bad but then gradually, these
Expectations acquire the form of limitations and judgements. When I hit puberty, I met a thesaurus of phobias. When people judge you for being who you are, they also slowly frame you into who you are not. It goes from ‘we advice you....’ to ‘We want you to...’ and when we finally think that we have become acceptable to the society, we find ourselves lost.
The stone we are hit with.... Atelophobia; the fear of not being good enough. Well doesn't it cultivate in us all? When you look at someone and wish to be better, to be more and more until we are satisfied, which we never do.

And then we drown. Being at your low, it is both humorous and infuriating at the same time when you constantly hear the same statement, ‘Oh you're sad? Be happy.’ Thank you my friend for coming up with such a brilliant idea! I would've never thought about it; what a genius.

They all told me to be happy, to stop over thinking, to stop making a big deal about everything. But nobody told me how. Back in 2018, I was introduced to these 7 Korean guys . I swear I just wanted to know their names. Randomly playing out their music, I don't think I realised what they had in store for me. 24thSeptember 2018, I came across this video by the United Nations of BTS presenting a speech and the funny part; they too talked about loving yourself. 

But they weren't some bookish quotes they mugged up and spilled out, it had purpose. I realised, it was actually a stupid idea to chase perfection; it doesn't exist in the first place. To have been a human for so long and still I never envisioned the definition of being a human is to learn and to grow. We never stop growing which means we're never at our best or even at our worst.

Bangtan Sonyeondan is not just a average K-pop boyband. They are humans and they are definitely not perfect. But they are growing with us into a better version of themselves. I am too growing. And I learned that it is okay to be different or to not fit in. You don't love yourself unless you are yourself. The world is turning cynical and it is not anything more but a race now. Take a break and breathe.

You don't have to be like everyone out there to be accepted by them and that's how, I found myself. I found my solace in BTS. I found it in myself. They gave me strength to accept my flaws and cherish my existence. They taught me that happiness is a plethora of incandescent vibrations that reach out to everyone who is brave enough to leave behind the bird's nest.

My dark days are still there and they won't leave. But wherever I feel like giving up on my decrepit self, I look up to these seven boys who fought through their struggles and pain. They inspire me to try once more. 

We never walk alone
Do you know why I want to walk with you?
Because you kept me going when my own legs gave up....